Way Out Wise

Noise

2012-02-10T09:37:00.001-06:00

It's loud. There are so many things vying for my attention, my mind, my heart. I got this tweet from Rick Atchley the other day. "If you want to hear God, you're going to have to turn down the ambient noise."

Grace and peace.

Get Outta Here...

2012-02-08T23:12:00.000-06:00

Do you know Kylie Bisutti? She's been a Victoria's Secret runway model and I must admit she can conjure up some thoughts strutting around in her lingerie. I'm a Kylie fan but probably not for the reason you would first think. I didn't say she "is" a VS model, I said she's "been" a VS model - past tense. She gave up the gig she had dreamed of because she's been reading the Bible and was convicted she needs to save her body for her husband (I imagine there are Christian single men sending her their information right now) that she hopes to have one day.

Restoration. Renewal. Kylie is finding it through her study of God's word. It's amazing what the Spirit will do within us when we get into God's word. We can read Lucado and Yancey and Chan, we can listen to Andy Stanley, John Piper or Joel Osteen (I'm throwing that one in for a good buddy of mine) but none of those can do what actually reading the Bible and letting the Spirit work on heart and mind can do to us.

I'm a Kylie Bisutti fan and hope she will maintain her desire to serve God and openly share her faith. It's something I can learn from.

Grace and peace.

More R & R

2012-02-08T09:28:00.000-06:00

First, let me say that I have written two good blogs that come up as gobbley-goop and it's making me want to get the baseball bat out. One of them was what I thought to be the best post I'd ever written and how I wish I could remember how I said what I said. Oh well...back to mediocrity...

I'm stealing a tweet from Josh Ross to use as the basis of my post. "Words like restore, redeem, reconcile and renew indicate a prior condition that was good. We were created in God's image."

I'm using that in a lesson I'm teaching in June because the idea of being created in God's image has been something I have learned to grow on over the past few years. I bring Genesis 1:27 up in many, many conversations with people because they, like me, have this feeling we can not do enough, be good enough, not whatever enough and I never thought of myself as being made in God's image.

I have heard so many conversations about self-esteem, self-image, self, self, self that I think I became conditioned to always look at myself the way others saw me. Now, I just want to point others to God when my appearance (in whatever fashion) comes into the conversation. When I'm living right and doing things to help people, I want to point to God and give him glory as my Creator. When I'm living wrong and doing things that hurt my relationship with God, I want to point to God and give him the the glory as my Redeemer and Savior. I don't want people to see Jeff, to see my image, to see my self-esteem, to see my brilliance and greatness (quit laughing at that last part), I want them see a reflection of God and nothing more.

Grace and peace to you.

R & R

2012-02-05T08:32:00.000-06:00

Peacemaking includes many facets. A couple of those are restoration and reconciliation (R&R) and it's something that, without God's grace, most of us would not know. Without R&R, there's no peace.

I have only found peace learning to live in contentment with whatever my situation is but without restoration and reconciliation, peace is only partial at best. I have lived for years without peace in my life because of conflict with God, conflict with people I have loved and conflict within me. I trust that God has forgiven me and I am finally learning to live at peace with him. I'm not there yet and that's because I still have trouble forgiving myself and without being able to fully reach reconciliation with myself, it's still difficult to have full peace with God when I'm not at complete peace with myself. Finally, there are people close to me that I have been restored and reconciled to and live at total peace with them and others that it is still in process and there is no peace yet.

This is something that Josh Hamilton is dealing with right now. He's a public example of what I often deal with - battling demons that call me to do things I shouldn't do. I'm guessing Hamilton's failing jeopardizes his family relationship and certainly jeopardizes his work relationship (very secondary in this situation but more public). His openness and honest way of addressing the problem has certainly made R&R appear more realistic in all his relationships and I hope it works out that he will be able to again know peace because of the grace of those around him.

I want to know peace. I want to help others find peace. It can happen but there has to be restoration and reconciliation to make it so. That takes admitting fault and seeking forgiveness. It also requires forgiveness and grace by others with God as the model for what true forgiveness looks like. I hope I will be forgiven and I hope I will forgive liberally as God has forgiven me. It doesn't mean there will never be consequences to actions, it doesn't mean that my way (or another person's way) is always the right answer but peace can be found in all situations with people who put R&R above themselves.

Grace and peace to you.

Peacemakers

2012-02-02T22:09:00.000-06:00

I want to be a peacemaker.

I have lived much of my life in conflict. Conflict with God and his desire for me, conflict within myself and who I wanted to be and conflict with others who were/are close to me. It's hard to live in conflict as long as I did and even made harder by my inability to deal with conflict.

When I started the program I'm working through now learning to be a peacemaker, I had to take a test to determine my conflict style. The choices are: collaboration (win-win), accommodation (you win-I lose), compromise (lose-lose), competition (I win-you lose) and avoidance (nothing to win or lose). I rated highest in avoidance and second highest in accommodation. If I couldn't avoid it at all costs, I would rather give in and let someone else get their way. I have bad conflict resolution skills and it's something I want to change for myself and certainly to help other people.

I often wish I had known better a long time ago. I think I would have been a better person, a better father, a better husband, a better employee, a better friend. It's hard sometimes wishing I could rewrite history but that isn't going to happen so I press on, looking to the future, working to overcome my weaknesses and shortcomings, hoping the Lord will use me to bring peace to others so that conflict doesn't tear them down, rip them apart and throw them aside.

Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God. - Matthew 5:9

Lord, make me a peacemaker and use me in your kingdom so that others will know the peace that only comes from you.

Grace and peace to you.

Able

2012-02-01T01:18:00.001-06:00

One of my lifelong struggles is thinking I could handle things on my own. I found out the hard way I couldn't but the idea still tries to creep back into my head every now and then. This is another song that I have loved listening to that helps me remember I need God in my life and in my decisions.

Grace and peace to you.

The Motions

2012-01-31T01:15:00.000-06:00

Matthew West sings a song, The Motions that helped me during tough times of life (as documented in older posts here and here). It's a song I've gone back to lately as it helps spur me out of my doldrums. Enjoy it and then read on...

I've started a new book, not a fan by Kyle Idelman. I'm just a few chapters in and I already know it is one I will be recommending, if not buying, for my friends. It's challenging and it is calling me back to my desire to go through life as a follower of Jesus, not just a fan. I want to be a true disciple regardless of the costs - the lost relationships, the questions and criticisms of people who don't understand (or don't want to understand), the denial of things I would enjoy but that will use my time and resources that could be better used for the kingdom.

Lord make me a servant, Lord make me like you. It's easy to sing, harder to live. I pray I will be strong enough to live the hard life, the best life.

Grace and peace to you.

The Harding Experience

2012-01-30T01:01:00.000-06:00

I spent the past weekend at Harding University and had a fabulous experience. I love being around young people and this was a few days filled with young people - seeing their lives and hearing the dreams and passions. On Thursday, I sat in on interviews for a summer youth intern at our church and was uplifted by hearing these kids desire to serve God and work with other young people. What blew me away was their willingness to share some of their own struggles and how they were working through them. It was encouraging to experience their transparency and their mission for living more righteous and holy lives. Friday and Saturday were spent in discussions on plans for teachers (I'll be one) for UPLIFT 2012. That consisted of several hours with youth ministers and youth ministry volunteers and, again, it was encouraging to hear their heart for reaching young people with the good news.

I've got a child going to Harding next year and I'm so pleased that is the school of choice. There is good and bad in every place but the students I met encourage me about what the future holds.

Grace and peace to you.

Rehab

2012-01-25T04:49:00.000-06:00

I've been blessed with a group of guys who are very close to me, who have journeyed with me through my darkest days and have celebrated new life with me. Oddly, all of us seem to be in a lull of late, a season where we all feel like we are going through the motions of life. I'm not sure what it means but I've wondered why so many of us are in the same place right now.

Lecrae sings a song about going to rehab, talking to God about how he just got better, got clean and started living the way he should when he slipped back into old habits and bad choices and needs to come to rehab again. The song really speaks to me right now.

I'm back in Proverbs to break the doldrums. Where better to go than to wisdom? I love reading these scriptures and thinking about how they apply to me but also am struck how people tend to apply them to our physical life more than our spiritual life. Oh, there is plenty of wisdom for daily life but as I read it I believe that wisdom has more to do with my heart than earthly tangibles.

This is a season (brief, I hope) where I need to guard my heart. I am praying that God will make his presence overwhelm me during this time.

Grace and peace to you.

Song Power

2012-01-23T01:58:00.003-06:00

There are some songs that speak deep into my heart, that stir my soul, that elicit emotions to come bubbling up. I was driving home one night recently when I heard the song "Garden" by my new favorite band, NEEDTOBREATHE and as I listened the first time through tears were streaming down my face. The second time through, more tears. The third time through, I was flat out crying. The fourth, fifth, sixth and ninth times I heard it, I was worshipping a loving God and his sacrificial son. I've listened to it a number of times since then and it still feels fresh, still tugs on my heart and speaks deeply into my soul.

Grace and peace to you.

A Borrowed Message

2012-01-20T05:46:00.001-06:00

I'm posting an email I received from John Eldredge that is taken from his book, The Sacred Romance, because it speaks to me of where I've been, where I find myself now and where I need to be on-guard for in the future. It's so easy to lose heart for what is important by getting wrapped up in the minor events of today. It's easy to exert a great deal of time and energy into house-hunting, car-shopping, running here and there, school and lose focus of where I really want to be going and where and I really want (and need) my energy to be focused so that I am feel truly fulfilled in this life. Lord, pull me close and help me open my eyes to the things can fill my heart...and my mind...and my soul.

A Loss of Heart

It was to the most religious people of his time that Jesus spoke his strongest warnings about a loss of heart.

It is tragic for any person to lose touch with the life of their heart but especially so for those of us who once heard the call in our heart and recognized it as the voice of Jesus of Nazareth. We may remember him inviting us to a life of beauty, intimacy, and adventure that we thought was lost. For others of us, when he called, it felt for the first time in our lives as if our heart had finally found a home. We responded in faith, in hope, and in love and began the journey we call the Christian life. Each day seemed a new adventure as we rediscovered the world with God by our side.

But for many of us, the waves of first love ebbed away in the whirlwind of Christian service and activity, and we began to lose the Romance. Our faith began to feel more like a series of problems that needed to be solved or principles that had to be mastered before we could finally enter into the abundant life promised us by Christ. We moved our spiritual life into the outer world of activity, and internally we drifted. We sensed that something was wrong, and we perhaps tried to fix it-by tinkering with our outer life. We tried the latest spiritual fad, or a new church, or simply redoubled our commitment to make faith work. Still, we found ourselves weary, jaded, or simply bored. Others of us immersed ourselves in busyness without really asking where all the activity was headed. At one point in my own spiritual pilgrimage, I stopped to ask myself this question: "What is it that I am supposed to be doing to live the spiritual life in any way that is both truthful and passionately alive?"

Grace and peace to you.

Peace 3

2012-01-18T03:25:00.000-06:00

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying: ²³ “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them:

“The LORD bless you and keep you;

The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;

The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’
“So they shall put My name on the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”

Numbers 6:22-27 (NKJV)

From these verses comes the "other" ACU school song, one sung after so many events and a song that always reminds me of an ACU event. It's a song we talked about in the closing ceremony of my Residency Session week at ACU last week. The idea of the Lord's face shining upon us and giving us peace. I look forward to that day when I see the Lord's face shining upon me, me in his presence, and I imagine the peace I will feel at that moment.

In the meantime, I want to seek out ways to find that peace in the here and now and to help others who are in the storms of life find that peace.

Grace and peace to you.

The Cowboys Sweatshop

2012-01-17T06:25:00.000-06:00

ESPN came out with a news story and Channel 8's Dale Hansen jumped on the bandwagon about the Dallas Cowboys' using a soft goods manufacturing facility in Cambodia that runs a sweatshop. What a load of manure these news outlets and reporters are trying to dump on their viewers.

Do not misunderstand what I'm saying. I do not dispute the fact that all people should be able to work in good conditions and make a fair wage. I do not dispute that and hope everywhere there are less than suitable working conditions, changes will be made.

Here's a suggestion of where to start. Dale, you and ESPN need to quit reporting anything about the Cowboys until they make changes in who they use for manufacturing their product. Can you imagine how interest in the Cowboys and their merchandise would drop if the biggest news channel in the Cowboys' market and the biggest news channel in all the sporting world just quit talking about the Cowboys?

I'm sure the argument is that they are just reporting the truth. Well, do more! You asked the Cowboys' representative what he was going to do. Tell me what you are going to do Dale. Channel 8. ESPN. Why not lead instead of throwing up your "reporter" excuse. Why don't you show us what courage is?

I'm already doing my part. I don't own nor do I plan to own any Dallas Cowboys' merchandise. Hopefully, none of my other clothes are made in sweatshops but I honestly don't know. In the meantime, I support those who are trying to make changes and I would chastise those who just talk about it and don't do anything to make a difference.

Grace and peace to you.

Peace and More Peace

2012-01-16T01:20:00.000-06:00

When the way you live pleases the Lord,
he makes even your enemies live at peace with you.

Proverbs 16:7 (NIRV)

I just spent a week at Abilene Christian University learning to be a peacemaker. It is something I desire, something I hope to become and be in every part of my life. Learning to live through my own pain, I have come to find so many people are hurting and think they are not worthy of love. I am coming to know that God runs to all of his lost children, arms wide open, ready to embrace them for who they are - his children.

I want to live a life that pleases the Lord. Oh, how I struggle at doing it regularly. I want to walk close to him but my mind wanders and my heart is pulled along with it too often. Still, I desire to walk closer to God and in a way that pleases him so that even my enemies will live at peace with me, a child of his only wanting to be a peacemaker.

Grace and peace to you.

Peace

2012-01-12T22:29:00.000-06:00

Peace.

It's such a calming word to me.

Peace.

I have learned it's something I can have even in the middle of the biggest storms.

Peace.

It's something I want to be able to help people find and embrace in the middle of their biggest storms.

Peace.

Proverbs 16:7 - When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

May I walk in the ways of my Lord so that all I touch will know peace.

Grace and peace to you.

Up Too Late

2012-01-10T01:18:00.001-06:00

Roll Tide. I became a closet 'Bama fan when Gene Stallings coached the team. When Nick Saban showed up I became a fan of some other team but I have trouble cheering for LSU. Those people are crazy but the team is really, really good. Until Monday night. I talked to a guy who refereed the first game between the two and said Alabama would win a rematch. So it was. Truthfully, I can't get too excited about any SEC team winning because I have to listen to all the SEC talk. Maybe I'll become a Vanderbilt fan in the end. Good job Alabama. Congratulations.

I'm in Abilene, Texas, up too late, waiting on the snow to come. I'm spending a week here in a Residency session for my Masters program. Today was intense and tomorrow and the following days are supposed to be more in-depth. There are lots of role playing opportunities which I hate but can muddle through. I still love the program, love what I'm learning and excited about what the future might hold when I've completed this program.

John 16:33 tells me there will be plenty of opportunities for conflict resolution. My life is proof. It simply makes me ask God to help me through this day and to send his son with haste. Until then, use me Lord.

Grace and peace to you.

How Great Is Our God

2012-01-09T05:45:00.001-06:00

A good friend passed Louis Giglio's mashup of stars and whales and it gave me chills. I taught a lesson in our youth group Wednesday using the video to discuss the unlimited, unfathomable, unimaginable power of God and his majesty. I hope you enjoy.

Grace and peace to you.

A Valuable Resource

2012-01-05T01:27:00.000-06:00

Time is so limited. It's no secret. It's nothing profound I just figured out.

I love to write. This blog has been an ongoing salve for me, something I used to express emotions, share pain, give attention to joy and keep some semblance of balance in my head. However, so many things have come into my life that have begin using the resource of time that I have and my writing has suffered...and to some degree my connection I have with God when I write.

I don't do resolutions but I need to find a way to balance my time better, to include the things in my life that are important for me to stay focused on God and more balanced between peace and chaos (chaos being what I call the normal times of life because it's fun for me to say and will drive some people crazy that I say it which is really my real purpose in life...) and to make the changes I need to make to treat time as the valuable resource that it is.

Knowing that my biggest challenge to overcome is myself, it will be a battle at times but one I need to learn to fight. Maybe I will learn some new conflict resolutions skills that will resolve the my own inner-conflict - now that would be valuable and worth every penny (at $787/hour) I'm paying to educate myself. (Note to young children reading this blog - it is much cheaper to prove you are smart enough to do well in college while your parents are helping pay for it than it is when you have to pay for it on your own. Just sayin'.)

God, give me vision and wisdom as I walk this road so that I will more clearly see you and choose the path that allows me to maximize all that you provide me.

Grace and peace to you.

Cosmic Christmas

2012-01-03T05:25:00.000-06:00

Yes, Christmas is over but I just read this post and thought I would share as we prepare for another Christmas in just a few weeks (well, that's how it will feel by the time I get to December).

Dan Bouchelle's Cosmic Christmas Blog

Grace and peace to you.

New Year, Same Old Cowboys

2012-01-01T22:42:00.000-06:00

I'm fundamentally against the New York Giants winning a game but I get a strange satisfaction from seeing the Cowboys lose. I don't know how many stories about Tony Romo's hand it takes for anyone else to get sick of the Cowboys but it took no more than 2 for me.

Go Saints!

Moving on...

I can't help but wonder what the new year has in store for me. I seem to be a person gifted with seeing the suffering in life much more clearly than what most people consider "the good stuff" and while I sometimes wish it wasn't the case, I think seeing suffering so easily allows me to be compassionate to people who are hurting. I can't help but think, based on the past few weeks, that 2012 won't be more of the same.

Or maybe not.

Either way, my only resolution is to get back on track to knowing God better, to love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and to love my neighbor, yes even the neighbors who make life hard, too. If I can manage this resolution, even if only better tomorrow than today, 2012 will be a good year.

Grace and peace to you.

I Just Said The Weirdest Prayer

2011-12-29T11:27:00.000-06:00

I just prayed for a bunch of people I don't know who post on ESPN's website. How weird is that?

A good friend sent me an email the other day about a letter Shannon Stone's mother had written to Josh Hamilton encouraging him to continue tossing foul balls to fans in the stands. (Story) I saw it again on ESPN today and re-read and then started reading some of the responses and just started getting mad. People writing rude things about how the mother's name is spelled, about the son, about faith, etc. I realized I was having the response that evil would want me to have so I stopped and prayed for all the posters who wrote something rude, prayed that somehow their hearts would be touched by grace and mercy and love.

It's weird praying for strangers who are mean but I already feel better having chosen prayer over anger. I might try it again one day.

Grace and peace to you.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T22:00:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas to one and all. Today is a day of reflecting on the greatest gift, Jesus.

Grace and peace to you.

It Should All Be Fun and Games

2011-12-22T10:19:00.000-06:00

What a night. I was supposed to leave work early to meet some missionaries for dinner but stayed late helping an employee and friend through a small minefield. I was going to go home for a nice dinner and watch a movie and relax (which I still accomplished) but it was between texts and phone calls with one friend who's dad was in the ER for chest pains and another friend who was dealing with two children who were making bad decisions and paying the consequences for them.

Oh, how my heart hurts for these people, for the pain and stress of what these issues are bringing them at a time that is supposed to be filled with joy.

I can't help but to go to Ephesians 6 over and over, never more than last night.

Lord, come quickly. In the meantime, keep my friends strong and give me the wisdom to help how I can. And, if I can ask this, thump the enemy on his head really, really hard.

Grace and peace to you.

Christmas Already?

2011-12-21T10:11:00.000-06:00

It seems like Christmas is a month away. At least that's what it seems like when I look at the presents I've bought compared with what I need at this late date. It's looking like I'll just be giving Christmas cheer this year!

Lyle Lovett at Bass Hall. It's a great way to spend a pre-holiday night and made a fabulous Christmas present to myself. Next up...Robert Earl Keen, Jr. on December 30.

I haven't been to my church on Sunday in 5 weeks. Time flies by. Places to be, things to be done. Time with friends, family and work have kept me on the go. I miss it. I miss seeing some of my brothers who lift me up and give me strength. I miss singing some wonderful songs of praise and hymns that stir my heart. I miss hearing a challenge or thought from Rick that causes me to take time to reflect on God.

I'm looking forward to Sunday. To being back with the body, with my family worshipping the great I AM.

Grace and peace to you.

The Hard Days

2011-12-18T22:26:00.000-06:00

December 17 is a hard day. A day with bad memories. It comes just shortly before Christmas, a time that is supposed to be a happy time, a celebratory time...and yet the days leading up to Christmas are hard days.

How is one supposed to get through hard days? How am I supposed to get through hard days with a smile of my face and a spring in my step? The easy answer is Jesus, the son of God who has suffered more than any other human but the easy answer doesn't immediately make me feel warm and fuzzy.

This I know. The hard days move into history and my hope is that in the days to come, on the December 17th's that will follow, the days will be easier and the pain will lessen. I do trust in God to bring healing. December 17 will never be a day of great happiness for what has happened in this world but I know in my head that there can still be joy for what is to come. I look forward from that knowledge moving from my head to my heart.

Grace and peace to you.

Las Vegas

2011-12-16T01:24:00.000-06:00

I recently spent roughly ten days in Las Vegas and I come away amazed at what goes on in that town each time. The money spent. The alcohol consumed. The scantily-clad dancers in the middle of casinos and the who-knows-how-clad dancers in other places. The smoke. The noise. It's sensory overload.

All in all, I had a good ten days there. There is so much to create temptation after temptation and short of staying up too late and donating my $100 to the craps table (when I was up $50 and knew I should walk away), I survived it relatively unscathed.

I had seen a t-shirt before I left town playing on Vegas' tag line that said, "what happens in Vegas is revealed in heaven." So true.

I listened to Rob Bell's Love Wins book on the way home and kept wondering what God will say to all the folks that make Las Vegas what it is when they meet him. No answers, just questions. (And possibly more on Bell's book later.)

It was a good run for our company in Las Vegas but I'm glad to be out of there, glad I didn't do anything I would be regretting today and glad I don't have to be surrounded by that all the time.

Grace and peace to you.

The Challenge

2011-12-14T11:23:00.000-06:00

Life. It's a challenge. I have good days and bad days but what about all the days in between? What about the average days? the sick days? the blah days where I just don't feel sharp? What am I going to do with them? It's those days I have to keep my eyes open and trust God will use me.

Last night, I'm sitting in my office way past the time I wanted to go when a friend calls to say her marriage is in crisis and she doesn't know what to do. It's in those times that I hear God say, "here's your opportunity today". Oh, how I hurt for my friend and her husband right now. I hope my words were of some comfort and I hope the prayer we prayed on the phone and the prayers in days to come will drive away the enemy of peace and joy and love so that God will reign in the hearts of these two people and in their marriage.

I'm glad she called because I've allowed myself to get too busy, too involved, too physically and emotionally exhausted and I'm failing in keeping my walk one where I am pursuing God. Thankfully, he sends reminders my way to help me renew my focus.

Grace and peace to you.

Lessons From The Road

2011-12-08T09:06:00.000-06:00

Last Wednesday, I took off with a good friend on a little road trip to Las Vegas. It's a work trip and I was driving one of our dealership's Freightliners and pulling a really nice Cimmaron living quarters trailer. I knew it was a bad sign when we had to stop before getting out of Wise County because someone forgot to put something on the trailer. It's so easy to turn a 10 hour drive into a 14 hour drive.

Driving across parts of New Mexico and Arizona, it's easy to see the poverty that exists around us. Houses that look like no more than plywood on dirt covered lots. Travel trailers that would come apart if you hooked it up to a truck are homes for families.

As I consider buying a house, I'm caught between what "seems" normal in my world and what is necessary when I consider God's creation. Oh for a few more square feet when people are living in houses that may fall apart. I can't help but wonder if my rationalization for more house (I'll use it for small groups/youth groups/yada-yada) isn't just that - rationalization. At the same time I realize money and more of this or that won't change everyone's life and those people may prefer to do whatever it is they do to make that their home. Still, my heart won't quit hurting knowing there are people out there that life, circumstances, bad decisions and the hurt of other people have pushed them down to a point of suffering that I can't comprehend.

I look forward to the day we are all dancing with God in his palace.

Grace and peace to you.

P.S. Dancing is metaphorical. I'm not sure everyone will have rythym in heaven and I'd still rather be fishing than dancing.

My Office, Part 2

2011-12-02T05:08:00.000-06:00

God, thank you for using me and allowing me to minister in your kingdom. Thank you for making my workplace a place where I can help others and to share the lessons on my pain and of my victories so that they might find peace, healing and reconciliation with you and with those they love.

Grace and peace to you.

My Office

2011-11-30T03:02:00.000-06:00

On November 14th, a female employee walked in my office, sat down and proceeded to tell me how and why her family was about to be evicted from their home. It's a sad story and one where satan's attacks are all to evident. The attempt to destroy and tear down is hard to hear, harder to watch.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to sit in an office for an employer where people can walk in, sit down, pour out their hearts and I can often get them help that they need in some form. Ministry happens in all sorts of places and I thank God for using me in unusual circumstances to be a part of his kingdom.

Grace and peace to you.

Silence is Golden

2011-11-28T01:00:00.000-06:00

When I speak, God can hear me.

When I am silent, I can hear God.

Grace and peace to you.

Surrender

2011-11-24T05:45:00.000-06:00

Today I am thankful for surrender.

Sunday, I spoke for our communion focus at church and shared the idea of surrender as seen through my eyes.

It's not a word most people use often or like very much. The idea of turning power, control and authority over to another isn't something that naturally appeals to most people, certainly not me. Most of my life has been in battle, my will versus God's desire for me, my control of my life or his control of my life. I fought valiantly and always thought I could win the battle, retain control, have the power...but I lost. I finally gave in, I finally waved the white flag, I finally submitted to a force that was greater than me.

In Matthew's account of Jesus' death, I find these words in chapter 27, verses 50-52:
⁵⁰ And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.
⁵¹ At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split ⁵² and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. [emphasis mine]

I remember when I gave up my spirit. I felt the foundation underneath me shake and I knew something greater than me was in control and I have felt it time and again after going back into battle for my will. Oh, I surrender much faster now because I know the battle won't be won and the power of God is greater and stronger and more steadfast than anything I would muster...or hope to.

My victory has been found in my surrender. My triumph is evident when I lay my battle down and submit to the Lord, the creator and the savior. I became a victor when I surrendered to the power of the sacrifice on the cross and the resurrection from the dead by Jesus Christ.

Today, I am thankful for surrender. Thankful that Jesus gave up his spirit, thankful that I made the decision to give up mine too.

Grace and peace to you.

Keeping Christ in Christmas?

2011-11-22T09:45:00.000-06:00

The new Target ads for Black Friday are a beating and, for me, illuminate all the negative about what Christmas has become for so many in this country. The commercial depicts a lady in hysterics about the opening of Target at 4:00 AM or whatever crazy time they throw the doors open. Now, full disclosure requires me to tell you that I make a living in the retail industry and that Black Friday is a BIG day for my company but it doesn't mean I like what drives it. I suppose it's not really all the shopping and ridiculous spending that I have been a part of in my life as much as it's the spirit of which I hear things and see things, in others and in myself, that irritate me.

On Facebook and so many other places, I will begin to see people writing "Keep Christ in Christmas". Now, I'm all for it if they are all keeping Christ in Christmas and this is what it would look like to me. Money being spent lavishly on the hurting, homeless, drug-addicted, porn fueled broken people that are so easy to find all around us. Money being spent lavishly on people in third-world countries (another term I'd like to find a better replacement for), being sent to Christian Relief Fund, Charity Water, Mision Para Cristo and other worthy organizations.

How many toys can I have? Heaven knows I have asked for and gladly accepted more than I could ever use or need and I have done the same thing with my kids at times. I thank God I and they are in a place now where a couple of gifts is enough (still more than we need) and I can send money to help others...or better yet, I can keep Christ in Christmas by serving with my time and with my heart.

Grace and peace to you.

MANA

2011-11-13T17:20:00.000-06:00

I was watching World News Tonight Sunday evening and they did a story on the peanut butter meals provided by organizations like MANA and UNICEF. I like MANA because I believe they are trying to do more than simply feed the physical but it where they start and something that is urgently needed in parts of the world.

I was blessed recently to be asked by a friend to speak at her business periodically to some of her managers. It's something I love doing and I told her I would do it and didn't want to be paid. This friend can be insistent so I told her I would do it if she made a donation to a charity I would suggest each time we met and she agreed. Cool deal all the way around. So, my first charity was MANA and I hope she and I can work together to help fund many more good efforts in the future.

I'd encourage you to donate also. MANA

Grace and peace to you.

JoePa's Condemnation

2011-11-13T02:04:00.000-06:00

One guy is alleged to have assaulted multiple kids and another guy is getting all the publicity as the bad guy. It's just wrong.

First, let me say it doesn't seem Joe Paterno did the right thing from what I have heard. That's something he'll have to live with the rest of his days.

Second, Jerry Sandusky is the guy in the wrong here and the one that authorities need to focus on to find out what he did and how they can help the victims.

I was listening to sports radio Friday and a caller came on saying that JoePa should burn in a special place in hell for what he didn't do. Really? The condemnation in the caller's voice and words ware harsh and I can't help but wonder how often one person condemns another when the first person isn't even following the greatest command - to love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind and soul.

It's easy to condemn and never look in the mirror. Is not loving God as bad as someone assaulting a young child? Sandusky is in the wrong but he's still a child of God. Paterno is in the wrong but he's still a child of God. I hope the radio caller remembers Jesus' words about who should cast the first stone.

Come to think of it, I hope I'll remember it.

Grace and peace to you.

I've Lost That Blogging Feeling

2011-11-10T15:51:00.000-06:00

My energy and passion for writing my blog is being sucked lifeless by the rest of my life.

Right now, I'm sitting in the Las Vegas airport wondering if I'll ever get home. It's been one of those days. I overslept 30 minutes and got to the airport to find out a) my flight was leaving 40 minutes earlier than what I thought and b) the Las Vegas American Airlines people give up your seat 30 minutes before boarding if you're on a free flight and the flight is oversold. So, they give me a ticket on the next flight out and I proceed to the security area where the TSA agent asks me what name I go by. I said "Jeff" and he said "so who's Gregory?" The gate agent issued me the wrong ticket. I head back to the gate and find out I can't get on that flight but I can get out on the next flight. Now that flights been delayed for over 2 hours. So, I was supposed to leave at 9:00 and now I'm leaving at 3:20. The bad part is that I'm missing time with my son which is a killer.

The good part is that I'm getting some school work done on Identity and Culture. I take a break to look at Yahoo News and see that Wal-Mart is opening at 10:00pm on Thanksgiving night and I immediately wonder what that says about our culture. We are a people thankful for cheap deals? I make my living working for a company who gets paid to sell people stuff and it's our job to figure out how to make it easy for them to spend more money with us but I'm very frustrated by retailers doing some of the holiday stuff they do. Of course, they wouldn't do it if the consumer didn't eat it up so in the end I know where to put the blame which leads me back to the question of who we are.

And who's we are.

Grace and peace to you.

Gender Roles

2011-10-28T03:44:00.000-05:00

I love it when I need something and it is given to me before I need it. Such it was with the David Platt quote I used in yesterday's blog.

I was in a conversation that led to gender roles within the church. Now, the congregations I've attended have had pretty strict rules on what men or women could or couldn't do but also had cases where there was total bewilderment on who the role belonged to or what it should look like. Good stuff, right? Oh, how I imagine Satan gets all giddy when we can be pulled off the effort of seeking and saving the lost by debating with other believers. So, I asked the question similar to what Platt asked. What happens when you ask God to help you understand your role and he answers you? Will you accept the answer?

I'm guilty of asking God for guidance and when I don't like the guidance I just ignore it. God's OK with that because he can see a million moves ahead of me and he's prepared for the choices I make...but that doesn't mean I should ignore God when he speaks. I wonder if much of our battles about gender roles and the like are more about what God says (or purposefully doesn't say) and our desire being in conflict instead of accepting what he has said (or purposefully left unsaid) and doing his will whatever the cost. I wonder...

Grace and peace to you.

The Force of Will

2011-10-27T03:13:00.000-05:00

I was at the Rangers game Monday night with my son and loving every minute of it. That is, loving being with him, not the whole Rangers game. The early innings had me running through various emotions with varying levels of intensity and I'm ususally a laid-back fan. I walked around the concourse for two and a half innings watching it on the TV's periodically. That may have had as much to do with the 60+ year old man and his twenty-something stripper-looking girlfriend in front of us as anything but I'll still attribute it to the bad pitching and errors. All that to say, I think the Rangers won by force of will with some Cardinals managing and performance mistakes thrown in along the way.

That brings me to this, a David Platt tweet on Tuesday. The most popular question: How do I know God’s will? A more pressing question: Will I obey God’s will? What a great comment. I have known the big picture will of God most of my life and simply failed to obey it. Not so much failed and chose, really. I am one of those people who want to know the will of God...as long as it works within my parameters of what I want to do. "God, let me help someone today." "Uhh, God, is there anyone who looks and dresses more like me I can help? I don't know how to talk to those people and they are dirty and stink." "God, do something powerful in my life today." "Uhhh, God, I didn't mean anything that could make my life/income/retirement/free time/beliefs more difficult."

Will I obey God's will? Regardless of the cost?

Grace and peace to you.

Heart of Flesh?

2011-10-26T01:18:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned my earlier life's fascination with politics, even a brief consideration of playing along, and my current complete and utter disdain for our political system and state of our government. Saturday night while trying to occupy my time to keep from watching the Rangers get slaughtered, I ran across this Rick Perry post referring to Herman Cain and Mitt Romney.

“When it comes to faith, it is the core of who I am. It is an essential act as much as breathing is an essential act,” Perry said. “I found the true source of hope and change, and that is a loving God who changes hearts of stone into hearts of flesh.”

Now, in the letter to the Romans "flesh" is referred to as our sinful nature a couple of times (Romans 7 & 8). So is Perry saying God changes hearts of stone to hearts of sin? Well, I'm sure it isn't what he meant but it's one reason I get queasy so often when politicians start referring to faith. The fact that Perry holds high his stance on capital punishment makes me question what kind of God wants us killing other people to remain faithful. I'm of the opinion that most politicians have a high level of faith as long as it works for their political future. If that makes me judgmental, I hope the Lord will forgive me.

I'm not a fan of government legislating faith. I really believe that if we emphasize reading the Bible, prayer and doing the will of God, we won't need government to "legalize" prayer in schools, tell us abortion is wrong or what marriage looks like. I think the most dangerous thing a Christ-follower can do is turn over the will of God to government.

I'm no fan of Rick Perry and I think he would be the last Republican I would vote for if it came down to that decision. In the meantime, I hope his heart will continue to be turned into a heart of love, mercy and grace. I hope that for myself all the more.

Grace and peace to you.

Mo' Money

2011-10-25T01:15:00.000-05:00

Last week I wrote about the amazing power of God to work in people's hearts as it related to our Missions Sunday contribution. Yesterday I learned that more money had come in and the total contribution is over $165,000. Phenomenal.

What would I do if I won the lotto? (Maybe the question should be what would I do if I bought a ticket and then won the lotto...so I might go buy one when I finish this post). What a great question and one that I agree with what many others have said that the answers would reveal much about my heart.

By the way, I do have answers but I won't reveal them here. I still have some heart work to do.

Grace and peace to you.

All My Blogging Friends Have Settled Down

2011-10-24T05:54:00.000-05:00

I had to borrow a Hank Williams Jr. song for that title. It's weird when the blogs I read are people I don't know well. I ran across this blog from Dan Bouchelle and stole an excerpt that hit home with me.

In my heritage, we have been so cautious to speak about God’s direction in our lives that some, hungry for a more active God, have over-reacted with a God who constantly tells us what to do. Oddly enough, God’s voice ends up sounding a lot like our own inner desires much of the time. I am not seeking to encourage a more human centered life. To the contrary, I am seeking to develop people who submit fully to God’s will and take full responsibility for their role in God’s economy. If God told us everything to do like a micro-managing parent, we would not grow up any more than an over-indulged child with a hovering parent. - Dan Bouchelle's Blog

I believe I hear God speak to me in various ways (not necessarily the booming voice coming from the mountain top) but it's only in issues that I believe serve his desires and purposes. I know some people who thank God because the Rangers won or they found the up-close parking spot and I really find it hard to believe God cares much about those things. On the other hand, when people pray in earnest for God to move in people's hearts on an upcoming special contribution, I can't help but believe God spoke to some folks, some how, some way.

I think God wants me to hear his voice and he wants me to hear him talk about things that make a difference in his kingdom, not my little world. When the two intersect, I want to give the glory to God and know I am walking his path.

Grace and peace to you.

How Can I Keep From Singing

2011-10-21T05:45:00.000-05:00

This has become one of my new favorites...

Grace and peace to you.

My Thoughts Are My Thoughts

2011-10-19T01:09:00.001-05:00

Profund stuff, huh? I found myself in a conversation the other night about why there are so many churches believing so many different things and as I gave answers to some of the questions I wondered how many of my answers are driven by my own thoughts of what God intends for us to know today as opposed to simply what God wants us to know today.

I have grown up listening to and believing the things my preacher and my teachers told me the Bible said and spent far too little time knowing what God's Word said. I've read some of the famous authors and the not so famous, studied commentaries and searched out what other people had to say but haven't spent near enough time reading and be quiet to hear what God wants me to know.

My thoughts are not God's thoughts, at least not all of them, but I hope the coming days will find me spending more time reading from God's words and listening for what he wants to lay on my heart instead of being content hearing what the preacher has to say and leaving it at that. While I think the man delivering the messages at my church does a great job, I know he would agree that only God himself can speak to me in the way only God can. I simply need to listen.

Grace and peace to you.

#powerofGod

The Well

2011-10-15T04:52:00.000-05:00

How long can I go without water?

Rich Little, in his sermon last Sunday, referenced a ranch in Australia that was so big it wasn't realistic to put up fences. While some would worry their cattle would wander off, the rancher realized that the cattle wouldn't go far from a well that provided them water and that's how he keeps them home.

Rich went on to make an analogy that our churches should be the same. We don't need things that divide us (fences) in our churches, we need water - the Living Water - the water that anyone can drink and not go thirsty. If our churches are fountains of this well, we won't need to fear people wandering off because it's something essential they need.

Our disputes over music, communion, men, women, meeting times, meeting places...you can keep filling in the blanks...are not essential to knowing the love of God and being drawn to him. The living water, the fountain of life, the truth and the way, that is what is essential and that is what can bring us to the same place.

Grace and peace to you.

Grief and Idols

2011-10-12T04:43:00.001-05:00

I appreciate my friend Rick Ross so much. One of the things I appreciate is his sharing of what he has learned through a extremely painful event in his life. He's been speaking in class about some of the things he learned and he made a comment yesterday that has stuck with me. I wish I could remember it exactly but I will give my rendition. We must be careful we don't let what we grieve become an idol in our life.

I'd never thought about something I lose becoming an idol but it's true. I have likely come close at times to letting something I grieve become an idol, become something that I hold more dear than anything else, something I could almost worship by giving more attention and focus to what I lost than what God wants to give me.

What if you lost all your money?

What if you lost your health?

What if you lost your spouse?

What if you lost your child?

Would the loss of any of those things consume you? For some people a loss can do just that - consume them. What a dangerous situation that can sneak up on me if I'm not aware, not prepared for how a loss can transform my life.

I appreciated the reminder of how to keep life in perspective and keep God in focus for my life.

Grace and peace to you.

Following God...A Borrowed Post

2011-10-11T05:54:00.000-05:00

I found this yesterday while catching up on a few blogs I read. I was thinking about the power of God and as I read this, I was reminded that for me to experience the power of God, I have to let God work in me and let go of the things I want hang on to or control in my life.

Vicious Cycle

Grace and peace to you.

#powerofGod

2011-10-10T04:27:00.000-05:00

It's a hashtag I used on some of my tweets on Sunday because the power of God and how he uses people began to overwhelm me.

My friend Rick said some powerful things about grief in class today. More on that another day.

My church family gave over $161,000 for our special mission offering. More on that in a few lines.

Rich Little, a visiting preacher, spoke some powerful words about the power of God to use people. More on that another day too.

Here's the power of God story for today. I may have shared some of this before - too tired to go back and look right now. Anyhoo...

Several months ago a teenage boy asked me how we came up with our budget for Missions Sunday. Normally it's around $25-30,000 because that's what we have "felt" like we could muster and be "successful". (Notice the words in parenthesis? Those are human concepts.) The teenager asked me why we didn't set it at $100,000 and see what happened. I didn't say much at the time but the question wouldn't leave my mind. He later told me he had heard the question from another adult in a youth class but the question didn't leave him either. The question and the amount stayed with me until the Sunday when we were setting our missions contribution goal and I told our committee the story and the question. Guess what? We set our goal at $100,000. We have prayed and we have answered questions and we have responded that we couldn't reach that amount with anything we could reason, it would be a God-thing.

On a weekend where we had seen the first good rain in a long, long time, water wasn't the only thing that poured down from the heavens. The Spirit of God was at work and our congregation gave $161,000 - over 3 times what we've ever given on Missions Sunday and well over 10 times our normal weekly contribution.

I told the teenager and I told members of our youth group that they will never know the power they have to affect generations with the Gospel of Christ. The boy hearing the question and asking the question turned a thought into real dollars and lots of them that will be used to take the Good News around the world and to possibly affect members of families for time eternal. A simple question.

God takes a simple question asked with good intentions and turns it into something no one was prepared for. I stood in a room of men, many with tears in their eyes, as they looked at the numbers on the adding machine because God uses us when we might not expect, might not even know it. It sure makes me want to be open and ready for whatever God has in store because it's something greater than I'll come up with on my own.

#powerofGod

Grace and peace to you.

More On Jobs

2011-10-06T22:21:00.000-05:00

Steve Jobs commencement address at Stanford is everywhere. He said some really good things, some really motivating things and something that made me stop in my reading tracks and go back to what it said. I suggest reading the whole speech but read the following excerpt with me.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Did you catch the first two sentences? No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. WOW! The sad part to me is that I think he is right on based on many conversations I've had. I have heard several sermons and many class discussions and plenty of conversations about how wonderful heaven will be but so many people don't want to go. What will happen to this? Who will take care of that? What about the kids? These conversations go on like we have all the control over all these factors and we have the best plan and it sure makes it seem that when some talk about the almighty power of God they must not believe it.

Jobs missed the mark on me. I want to go to heaven and I'm ready to go NOW. I trust that God will take care of my kids in ways I never will. I trust that God will make a path for things to work how he, the creator and author of life, knows is best. That path might be that I don't get to go to heaven anytime soon, that he has plans for me here in this dark place. So be it. I simply ask that he open my eyes, my mind and my heart to what he has in store for me. If that's to claim my reward, let's get rolling. If it's to stay here and be the hands and feet of Jesus for another day, I will trust him.

Grace and peace to you.

Steve Jobs

2011-10-05T22:37:00.000-05:00

Steve Jobs passed away earlier today. He's one of those people I wish I knew. He saw things differently than most people. He was willing to follow his heart and take risks. He changed lives in many ways, lives of people he never knew and his innovations will likely touch generations. I was a Mac-hater for many years because I didn't understand them. Once I got a taste, I became a Mac devotee and it's all I want to use these days.

I hope when I'm gone someone can say similar things about me except that it will be in the context of people's souls instead of things of this world. I respect Jobs' for what he did for the computing world and it seemed something he poured passion into at all times. I hope I can do the same in this world but even more so in things that are not of this world. I hope God will use me to change lives, to affect generations and to make people's lives, both here and in eternity, better.

I have no idea of what Jobs' relationship with God was but I hope he is strolling heaven and enjoying what life "on the cloud" is really like.

Grace and peace to you.

The Most Risky Profession | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

2011-10-04T16:25:00.000-05:00

The Most Risky Profession | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

Interesting article.

It's never far from my mind how I spent years filling a church pew, doing the "right" things and never really knowing God. I can't help but wonder how many people in church services are there because it's the "right" thing to do or participate in activities because it's the "right" thing to do. I'm not judging them, only reflecting on the question of whether anyone else is in the same position I was, playing the part instead of being the disciple. I don't want to step foot in a church or take part in an activity related to a congregation because it's the "right" thing to do. I have and will continue to pass on being busy in favor of knowing I am seeking God's will. Some may think my distinction is a matter of semantics but I know, for me, it's a matter of following my heart for God. I hope my pride or my "right"eousness ever gets in the way of my pure and unadulterated service to my Lord. I have so far to go to be the child I want to be but it simply starts with another step forward each day. If I'm willing, he will make the lead me on the path.

Grace and peace to you.

Gifts

2011-10-03T06:52:00.000-05:00

It's been a weekend of reminders and something I needed to be reminded of. I have been given many gifts and sometimes the gift is taken away. It's in those moments I make a choice - will I resent losing the gift or will I be thankful for the time I had?

Anger, resentment, despair, hopelessness, loneliness...all emotions that are normal and reasonable to a point but there is another point when these emotions become weapons of destruction.

Last night I had to make a choice. Do I hang on to resentment for a gift that I was having to give up for a time or do I want to given thanks and rejoice for the hours I was able to spend with these gifts? It is so easy for me to wallow in the pain and hurt but I don't want to live that way.

Some gifts are mine forever and some are mine for just a season. Will I let the loss of a gift cause me to simply focus on what I've lost and forget about the eternal gifts I have?

Nothing in this world is forever. It's a temporary place and I need to be reminded to treat it that way.

In doing so, I can rejoice for the time I've had and know that a better day is still ahead.

Grace and peace to you.

When Is It Time To Move On?

2011-09-26T01:32:00.000-05:00

My blogging friends are giving up the business. It makes me wonder when this blog will have run it's course. I've considered shutting it down a couple of times - mainly because I feel like I'm saying the same things over and over. Other times, I feel like new points are being revealed to me and I want to record them to look back on at some point.

Forgiveness is back on my mind and surrender is on my mind. A good friend shared a quote with me the other day that has me contemplating how well (or how not so well) I forgive. Lewis Smedes is attributed with saying, "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." Gandhi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." I don't want to be a prisoner but I do want to be one of the strong. It s something I still need to work on.

Forgiveness is the power of the cross, it's the final words before death to ourselves and new life. Jesus exemplified this in his words, "Father, forgive them for the don't know what they are doing." With that, Jesus was dead and so was the power of darkness over light, the power of bitterness over freedom, the power of hatred over love." With complete forgiveness comes things that cannot exist without it, it brings life with joy and hope. I need to forgive better. I need, I want to forgive as the Lord forgave me (Colossians 3) because I believe it will lead to loving others like the Lord loves, seeing others as the Lord sees, having compassion as the Lord is compassionate, offering hope that the Lord offers me. Today, I'm praying that I will have the strength and wisdom to forgive completely and freely.

Grace and peace to you.

Bug Guts Revisited

2011-09-23T06:50:00.005-05:00

This is a post I wrote a year ago that has remained with me because of the message in it for me. It had an impact on me that day and it's as meaningful today.

Bug Guts

I'm driving home from Abilene and the windshield is a mess of bug guts and other stuff from the road that makes looking out the windshield a mess, not impossible to see but certainly not clear. Add driving at a rate of speed that might just be a smidge over the speed limit and it's a recipe for a mess. I can't see clearly but I'm still going 80-to-nothing (no, I wasn't going 90). I seem to go through life that way too often. Anyway, I'm rolling down the highway and all of the sudden I am driving through a downpour. Buckets of rain are falling and I have to turn the windshield wipers on high to try and keep up. I'm listening to the rhythm of the wipers and doing my best to see the lines on the road and then, poof, the storm is left behind. It is then that I notice I am driving with a much cleaner and clearer windshield.

It's a true story but also a story of God. I am speeding through life, going too fast, vision impaired and then I hit a storm. As bad as the storm is, God uses it to slow me down and clean up with the windshield so I can see His desire for me more clearly. The storm helped me, even though it caused some problems at the time, because it made me slow down, think and it helped clean my windshield so I could see my way more clearly.

Thank you God for knowing what I need, always better than I know myself.

Grace and peace to you.

Memories

2011-09-22T02:41:00.001-05:00

This ain't a great day for me. Last night I kept thinking about where I was on the same date many years ago and things I had done on this date. The memories bring smiles and they bring tears.

Last year at this time I was at ACU meeting some of the coolest kids I've ever met. Allelon is their website I'm familiar with. I'm not sure it's still the one they use but check it out. It was a day that kept change in my life active.

My son. Baseball. This weekend. I. Can't. Wait.

Did I mention the Rangers look like they are headed back to the playoffs? Good stuff.

I hope to do a better job living in what God has given me instead of spending too much time thinking about what Satan has taken away. I've got so much more from God, so much promise and true hope, so much unconditional love and acceptance for who I am, warts and all. I want to be better at being open to his presence in my life, every moment of it. I want to be confident in my walk with him even when people don't understand it, I want to enjoy sabbath time with him even when events, people and my desires want to pull me one way or another, I want to have peace in my time of healing even as my head tells me to press ahead and go places I know deep down my heart isn't ready for. I want to walk side-by-side with God instead of trying to make my own way in the world. I've done it well at times and when I do, there is a beauty to my life that I can't describe. It's where I want to be.

Grace and peace to you.

As The World Turns

2011-09-21T01:27:00.001-05:00

Does life mimic soap operas or do soap operas mimic life?

I think I can find more villains in real life than I can in a TV show.

I'm a bit grumpy right now. I think it's based on a phone call I had today.

"Can't we just all get along?" - Rodney King (social genius) :)

I prefer to focus on the Texas Rangers right now. They don't cause me to go deep. They don't cause me to explore pain. They don't cause me to cry out to God to open my eyes and my heart and to remove my anger and hatred. It appears they are headed to the playoffs. I draw for my playoff tickets on Thursday and will be accepting bids on Friday. ALDS and ALCS tickets will need to start with 5 figures before the decimal. World Series tickets will need to start at 6 figures before the decimal. I'm not sure anyone is willing to pay that much but, if you are, I'll find a place to watch the game.

Rick talked about hope on Sunday. As he talked I thought about how flippantly I use the word "hope" so often. I hope the iPhone 5 will be ready soon. I hope I can get a new truck or Mercedes soon (I need those ticket prices to be high to support my style of living), I hope I have a good day. I have hope for things that don't last and as I thought about it, I thought about the song that goes, "my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness." We ended up singing the song but I hadn't looked at the program so I just thought the song leader and me where the great minds thinking alike. Anyhoo, hope built on Jesus' blood is a bit deeper and broader and weightier than an iPhone 5. I want my hope to be about much, much more than things of this world. I want to focus on and live in that deep and broad and weighty hope that marks my eternity.

Grace and peace to you.

Crazy Stuff and Homecoming

2011-09-16T04:50:00.000-05:00

The following seems crazy to me:
This was Josey’s eleventh felony conviction, and his second for evading arrest. Other felony convictions include five felony DWIs, possession of methamphetamine, possession of a controlled substance and two counts of forgery by passing. The earliest conviction dated back to 1989. Sentences from previous convictions totaled more than 57 years, but he always earned an early release. In this case, he will not be eligible for parole until he has served at least half his sentence.
ELEVEN felony convictions and he's out on the streets. I don't agree with the death penalty but I do agree with "do the crime, do the time" and this guy is constantly doing the crime and seldom doing the time. Is Rick Perry's stance on crime "kill 'em or let 'em go"?

I'm not a Rick Perry fan. I've heard good things about him from people I trust but I don't get good feelings about him as a leader. If it comes down to Perry and Obama, Perry has the edge being from Texas.

Tonight is homecoming in Decatur. I'm not a big fan of all the hoopla but I know lots of people are and thank their lucky stars they are not like me in many ways. That said, it's pretty standard for the homecoming game to be played at home. I was talking to someone about homecoming the other day and asked if they were going to the game. "I don't know. It depends on where they are playing." Hmmm. I haven't asked but I'm guessing they are playing it at home. Cracked me up.

In talking with some friends the past few days, it seems we are all run-down; physically, spiritually and emotionally. I'll end my week with this from Psalm 18, words of David that I want to be living out right now:
² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield^[b] and the horn^[c] of my salvation, my stronghold.

Grace and peace to you.

Talking About God

2011-09-15T01:15:00.000-05:00

My conversations have long been filled with sports, money, sports, girls and more sports. And hunting and fishing.

Lately, I find my conversations are filled with more talk about God. The odd part is that most of the conversations are with people I often spent time talking about sports, money, sports, girls, more sports, hunting and fishing. And NASCAR.

Why are we talking about God so much? Well, the one thing we all seem to have in common is that something bad has come into our life and we finally reached a place where we had to be authentic, transparent, real with each other and we quit thinking we could hide from God and have started bringing him into our conversations as well as our lives.

I spent part of Sunday afternoon talking with a new friend about God and the journey we were on and would have sat there for hours if time would have allowed. I spent lunch on Tuesday talking with another friend and co-worker about God and discussing the revelations we both had as we read The Shack. I sat on the porch of a house on Saturday talking with two of my dearest friends about something God is leading us to and how we are finding ways to go about answering the call.

The talk is richer than all that other stuff, deeper than all of that other stuff, more rewarding and fulfilling than all that other stuff.

I try to say as little as possible but if you want to get me talking, bring up God. It's my most favorite topic.

Grace and peace to you.

The End Of One Soapbox, The Start Of A New One

2011-09-14T03:24:00.001-05:00

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Bertrand Russell

Why is surrender such a bad word? Isn't it what Christ did in the garden? Isn't it what he did on the cross when he said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do"?

I have to ask how often I am willing to surrender; my money, my time, my heart, pride of self, pride of citizenship, control...to God.

I was talking with a good friend today about our desire to "react" when something happens to us. Someone says something mean, we react. Someone does something that hurts us, we react. In his case, a parent provides alcohol to his and other minor children and my friend wants to go rip the guy's head off. I understand that. Had I been in the garden and they were coming to get me, I might have joined up with Peter and gone to swinging a sword around. "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing."

"Father, forgive Jeff because he so often doesn't know what he is doing."

When I surrender my will, I am more powerful. When I surrender my money, I am richer. When I surrender my time, I'm at peace. When I surrender my life to God, I live more fully.

Grace and peace to you.

More War Talk

2011-09-13T05:27:00.001-05:00

An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind.
Mahatma Gandhi

Some people are going to start to think I'm nuts. Maybe I am. I may be nuts but I'm also saddened by all the war/death references I see people putting on Facebook and other places who publicly call themselves Christians but want to take up arms against others. The most recent two were women. Now, I have to wonder if they are planning on enlisting and taking the battle to the enemy or if they want someone else to do it. I did see one post about using unmanned planes but if you are going to go kill someone, isn't face-to-face the way to do it? Just asking...

It is only the dead who have seen the end of war.
Plato

I'm afraid Plato might have it right. I don't know if the fighting and killing will ever stop. Sadly, it's usually not the youngsters who are old enough to be sent into the battle that are rattling the sabers but older folks who will stay at home and bemoan the death toll.

What if we laid down our weapons? What if the "bad guys" won the battle?

What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?
Gandhi

War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Jimmy Carter

Wars will come and it I'm quite confident this country will take up the battle. So be it. What I hate to see is those who say they follow Christ advocating war so staunchly. War is evil and if the first thing from a person's mouth when dealing with someone who has hurt us is war, then evil has won. This applies in our churches, our marriages, our schools, our work and our countries. The day may come when I am placed in a position to defend myself and my children and I will have to make a call on that day. Until then, I hope I will put love first.

So many ascribe to the "kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out" mentality. Jesus' last words on the cross were to forgive for the enemy didn't know what it was doing. Jesus took God's side and allowed God to have the final say. I hope I will be that strong.

Grace and peace to you.

9/11

2011-09-12T05:52:00.001-05:00

It's been awhile but not for lack of trying. For some reason, I cannot post anything when using my normal Internet browser. Technology can be such a frustrating thing. Much like my blog for many readers.

As we remembered 9/11 yesterday, I was struck by the number of posts I read on Facebook about my friend's hatred for President Obama, Muslims and a host of other people who don't do things just the way my friends want them to do it and was reminded of a principle I learned reading The Shack and was reminded of yesterday as we studied Romans 15 and one of our Elders said, "remember when you are looking at someone you want to put your hands on and strangle, you are looking at someone that Jesus was willing to die for."

I've too often been on the opposite side of God in my love for people. He loves them and I'm ticked off at them and hoping for a piano to fall on their head. If God loves Obama and I hate him, who's side am I on? If God loves Muslims and I hate them, who's side am I on? It doesn't mean I approve of what Obama or Muslims do. It doesn't mean I approve of what many people do who I sit in church with on Sundays who don't act Christ-like the rest of the week either but God loves them and I want to be on God's side so I'm going to love them also.

When those who would be my brothers and sisters in Christ want to bomb, kill and maim anyone who doesn't agree with our way of life, I have to ask what way of life that is - the American way or God's way and which one is most important, which one should be the priority?

I hope I will learn to love people even when I don't condone their actions or motives. I hope I'll do a better job of praying for those who persecute me and my fellow man instead of hoping for bombs to rain down on them. I hope I'll always remember the kingdom of God is where my true citizenship exists and that I'm just passing through as an American.

I am thankful for those who protect us and keep us safe. I honor them and pray for their safety and protection from those who would do them harm. They have my support and I hope no one can doubt that or mis-hears how strongly I feel about those who serve our country in any capacity.

Even while I support those who protect me from harm, I will not wish harm on those who would hurt me but pray that one day love will rule and that God will be the victor over all.

Grace and peace to you.

Traveling Man

2011-08-26T04:02:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for a safe and fairly uneventful trip. Our plane into Miami was delayed and we had to hustle to meet our connecting flight and wondered if our luggage was hustling as fast as we were and it all worked out. My hotel room in Aracaju may be the darkest room I have ever stayed in. It's odd being in South America because being winter, it's dark at 5:00. They have had a lot of rain and we just missed a big downpour today that was flash flooding some of the streets. Sleep has been elusive and I hope Thursday night's rest is good and prolonged. It always surprises how I miss Texas and feel so far away from everyone when I make a trip like this. Maybe it's because I can't just pick up my phone and make a call or send a text.

I'm not like you. You are not me. I've been struck lately how some people often try to make someone else out to be like them. It's a little perplexing why it happens when it happens and it's a bit frustrating at times. I don't like being treated as if my personality and thoughts and desires are the same as someone else.

Here's hoping for some great days in Aracaju and 5 seemingly short sleeps until I'm back home in my bed and around people I know and love. In the meantime, I pray that God will do powerful things through me and in me while I'm here.

Grace and peace to you.

Hopefully, I Am In South America

2011-08-25T05:50:00.000-05:00

I'm writing this on Tuesday night because I expect I'll be a zombie by the time you are reading it and somewhere between Decatur, TX, Sau Paulo, Brazil and Aracaju, Brazil. I might be locked down in Miami because of a hurricane or so I hear. I might be lost in Sau Paulo because GOL! Airlines keeps changing the times of our flight but the new times are the same as the old times. Very confusing. I just hope my clean underwear and I wind up in the same place.

I solicit your prayers for my time in Aracaju. I'm speaking at a meeting Saturday night on a topic I'm qualified to speak about and one that scares me to death to talk about. I'm praying that God fills me up with wisdom and the words I speak are the words he is wanting to lay on people's hearts.

The closer I am to leaving the more excited I am about seeing Gilvan and his little boy, Giovanni, my good friend Romeo who is always smiling, Victor and Bela, two of the strongest young Christians I know, Albert and Carol, another young couple with a desire to serve and Bruno and Ricardo, two young men who may have more fire and passion for sharing the Good News than anyone I've ever met. The joy of the Lord bleeds through there pores, through their smiles and actions and words. Their eyes are alive when they speak about God and they draw people to them.

Oh, the high is supposed to be in the low-80's the first few days we are there. Yea! It stays in the low 70's at night and it might even rain one day.

The weather will be nice but it's the joy in knowing God exhibited in the lives of the people I will be spending time with that really excites me about what I'm doing. I'm ready to be infected again by their contagious zeal for the Lord.

Grace and peace to you.

Fly Like An Eagle

2011-08-24T05:48:00.000-05:00

I'm headed to Aracaju, Brazil today. It's a trip I never really enjoy as I start the travel process at 3:00p and will arrive in Aracaju around 3:00 tomorrow but I look forward to being with the people there so much. I've learned the concept of joy from my friends in Aracaju and the concept of living with much less and enjoying more freedom.

My baby started her senior year of high school this week. How did it get here so fast? Just yesterday, I was walking her into kindergarten holding her hand. Now she's driving herself and doesn't need Dad so much. I'm so very proud of her and the young woman she is becoming.

I stretch some analogies to fit my needs. To that end, while fishing last week I thought about how hard we were working to catch fish. Relentless is the word I would use when we were in an area with large redfish. I thought about how diligent we were about catching fish and tried to imagine how relentless God is in his desire to catch us. God is good and he is faithful and he never stops in his desire or effort to help his sheep remain safe and in the shepherd's care.

Grace and peace to you.

The Week That Is

2011-08-23T01:32:00.000-05:00

It's a crazy week. Here for a few days, gone for most. More on that tomorrow.

Drew Pearson is going into the Ring of Honor. I'm disappointed Jerry didn't do that a long time ago but he owns the team and I don't. Still, I'm disappointed in Jerry.

I'm not a Cowboys fan anymore.

I am a Rangers fan and liked how they played against the Angels. If all goes well I'll be drawing playoff tickets in a month or so.

Rick Perry for President? Ewww. I just don't believe he's done a good job nor seems to have enough depth about him to deal with the issues a President has to deal with.

I want to vote for a President who has actually created jobs without using taxpayer money to do it. Is that so much to ask for?

OK, that's all the fluff for one day. I'll be packing tonight for a little trip with my twin brother (some of you will understand that reference, others will be shocked I have a twin brother and even more would only laugh when they see him standing next to me).

Grace and peace to you.

The Week That Was

2011-08-22T01:12:00.000-05:00

A friend asked me how I was doing last week and I had a seemingly bizarre response, even for me. "Well, I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, I'm battling attacks almost daily that are trying to separate me from a focus on God, I'm separated from the people I love the most by a situation I hate, and it could get worse before it gets better. So, I praise God in this storm because it reminds me that I can do nothing without him and it's easy for me to look around and see others who are living in situations that seem so much worse than my own."

That was before I hopped on a corporate plane owned by one of our vendors, flew to the coast to fish and flew back the next day after lots of fish and a great meal. It's not all bad.

The University of Miami got busted for some bad stuff and rumors of the death penalty but I don't believe it will happen. Too much TV money is on the line and we all know that college sports are more and more about the money these days. Sad that SMU had to get hammered for the NCAA to figure out they didn't have the guts to keep busting the bad guys.

Walmart + Friday night = very bizarre clothing standards

If you know me well, you know I can be a bit sarcastic and often at the most inopportune times. You might also know that Rob Bell wrote a book that many describe as his reasoning that there is not a literal hell. So, I couldn't help but tweet last week the following; "I wonder if this summer is God's response to Rob Bell." You have to appreciate sordid humor to enjoy some of the things I say.

I read a blog post by one of Bell's biggest apologists last week attempting to explain why the Bible never truly condones homosexual activity unless it is used in some pagan, ritualistic way. My views on scripture have broadened and relaxed in many ways from how I was taught early in life but I just can't get there with this guy.

I'm finding that many people really don't believe you can follow the Bible unless you understand Greek because they use how original words were used to explain why things don't mean what we used to believe they meant. Maybe scripture really is for the mental elite. But, I don't believe it.

So, there are things that I don't agree with but I take those comments and use them to re-examine what I believe, to study again what I read in scripture and what I believe the God I know with my heart wants me to know about him and his desire. If that's not enough...

I think it's enough.

Grace and peace to you.

Read It While You Can

2011-08-15T00:33:00.000-05:00

There's been some debate recently about hell being a literal or figurative place and some mud-slinging to go along with it. I've stated my position of ignorance in the past (March 22, 2011 Blog) and still want to be more in tune with what God would have me do today and live it out than argue with someone about hell. At any rate, with any book about anything controversial more books will come out with the other argument and I guess my good buddy (I don't really know the guy but he makes me think) Frances Chan has responded to Rob Bell's book and below is a link for an excerpt. I appreciate Chan for bringing out things that I overlook at times. For instance, I can get rolling with the argument that hell is for bad people who do bad things and Chan points out that the Bible says people who talk harshly about others are those very folks doing bad things. Now, I know for a fact that there is some gossiping going on at lots of church buildings because a) I've heard it and b) I'm pretty sure I've joined in before and a good bit of that gossip fits under the category of speaking harshly about others. Something to think about...

Here's the link to Chan's excerpt. I'm not sure if I can legally borrow it or not but I'll give it a whirl and hope it simply makes you think.

Chan on hell

Grace and peace to you.

IANMO

2011-08-12T08:41:00.001-05:00

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Grace and peace to you.

The Pain of Yesterday

2011-08-11T04:07:00.000-05:00

I was watching the Rangers game the other night and saw a foul ball hit to left field. Josh Hamilton goes to pick it up and tosses it to the ballgirl instead of turning to throw it over the back fence. I can't help but wonder if he doesn't feel some pain every time that happens. If you don't know the story, Hamilton picked up a foul ball a few weeks ago and tossed it to a fan in the stands behind the left field wall. The fan reached out to catch it, lost his balance, fell over the fence 20 feet below hitting his head and died soon after. His young son (6 years old I believe) was sitting next to his dad when it happened. Now, Hamilton did what we hope every pro player will do - toss us something we can hang onto. I don't know Josh Hamilton but believe him to be a compassionate man and I can't help but think he wishes he would have held onto the ball that Shannon Stone missed that fateful night. When I saw him toss a ball to the ballgirl the other night, I couldn't help but think he still feels the pain of that one toss. And I wondered about that little boy and his family and whether they would attend more baseball games in the future. A father and son, a baseball game, hot dogs and Josh Hamilton standing in front of you. What's better than that kind of night? Then it turns to pain.

I assume that to be true because I've tossed a lot of balls in my past I wish I would have held onto. Not real balls, but something that I did that turned out bad, that turned out to bring pain in my life I didn't expect, didn't think about, certainly didn't want. Then, each time a similar situation comes up or some trigger reminds me about that toss I made, I am revisited by the pain. There are times where I deserved the pain and there are times where the pain comes from something that was supposed to be good. Either way, I wish I could have held onto that ball.

I trust Josh Hamilton's faith will help him keep moving forward but my guess is he will never thrown another ball over that back fence because it's pain he doesn't want to revisit. I trust my faith will get me through the times I feel the pain and I trust that God will be at work to mend the wounds and help me know that the pain is nothing compared to the goodness and a life without pain that is waiting for me.

Grace and peace to you.

17

2011-08-09T01:49:00.000-05:00

My baby girl turned 17 yesterday. I can't believe how the time has flown, how she has grown and the things she has achieved and what life has brought along the way. It's nothing that I imagined but when I look at her I realize there is so much to be thankful for even while viewing it through the storms of life. My daughter is a special young lady, one who constantly shows me the hope we can have for the future and one who inspires me to reach for higher goals. I pray God will bless her journey, speak into her deeply and loudly and prepare her heart for the obstacles she will face and the joy he can bring.

Grace and peace to you.

Go Rangers!

2011-08-08T08:05:00.000-05:00

I went to the Ranger game last night with my son and parents and were treated to a boring 7 innings, a great comeback victory and Michael Young's 2000th hit. Even with a 107 degree start time temperature, it was a fun night at the Ballpark.

Michael is the 11th fastest player to 2,000 hits and, I believe, the 3rd fastest right-handed batter. That's pretty good company I would imagine. I appreciate his work ethic and tenacity. Both of his hits last night were little infield rollers that he had to hustle out and I thought it an appropriate way for him to get there. Sure, a home run or game winning hit would have been great but I think hard work, determination and hustle have defined Young's career.

It makes me wonder what will define my career. Not my work career so much as my kingdom-building career. Much of it will be defined by a former life of hiding the truth and pretending to be something I may have wanted to be but wasn't living up to...and I'm ok with that because it might lay the ground work for what I can do in the latter half of my life to share the Good News. A friend told me one day he almost wished he had a story. I wish I didn't. He's lived a pretty directed life and has been the man God wanted him to be and I think that is the story, that we can choose to live that way. But sometimes a story of a rocky road, a hill climbed, of failures made and made again and overcome show people an option too.

I hope the day will come when I celebrate my 2,000th hit in the kingdom baseball game and I hope I celebrate it much the way Michael Young did - with a brief acknowledgment and desire to get back to work and keep doing what he's been doing.

Grace and peace to you.

Loving Others

2011-08-05T08:17:00.000-05:00

I met a couple of homeless guys in Decatur last Saturday. They weren't very lovable. They didn't say much so it's hard to know how to help them or if I can help them or if they want help. The easy thing to do at this point would be to move on and look for someone who is easier to love or just go do whatever it is I want to do and do some loving on myself (hope you see the drips of sarcasm in the last part). Instead, I'm going to try and find them again and talk to them again and to let them know that love exists in this world for them. I don't know where they've been or what they've done but I know God loves them and I know how God wants me to feel about them.

I was reminded of The Shack this past week and the great lesson I learned from that book that we are all God's children, all made in his image and all doing things we shouldn't always be doing. No one is perfect. Not those guys on the streets. Not my boss. Not the people around me. Not my kids. Certainly not me. Yet we are all God's children, made in his image and under attack by a force wanting to pull us away from his perfect and unconditional love.

I've experienced God's perfect and unconditional love and still I try to walk away at times telling myself God can't love a sinner like me. Day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month I'm learning more about his love and believing that nothing I do can shake it so I tell myself more and more than he does love me. He loves me when I mess up and he loves me when I live in his power and will and glory. The incredible thing about being open to his love is that it makes me want to live in his vision for me and not my own - his love is a mighty, powerful force. I just have to be open to it. And ready to share it.

Grace and peace to you.

Pitching and Conviction, Part 2

2011-08-04T06:51:00.001-05:00

Mike Adams made his debut with the Rangers Tuesday night and it was a bit underwhelming. Now, I don't have a clue what it is like to pitch in the rain in your debut after a team gave up some of it's best prospects for you and I guess I can understand that the weather and nerves might throw you off your game a bit but this guy is supposed to be Superman and I was expecting 3 outs with 2 pitches. Don't ask me how he would do that but it's what I expected. Better luck next time Mike.

My discipleship is a bit like Mike Adams. My Lord gave his best player for me and often I come out and serve up meatballs to the enemy that he can hit out of the park. The good part is that just like Adams will get to go back out on the field and show what he can do, God will let me try again because he loves me so much. I read a blog the yesterday that reminded me that God is love. Not that God loves to love or likes to love and wants to love. GOD IS LOVE. If he's love and I'm not loving, then who do I look like? If I'm not living as love, that's when I'm serving up hanging curveballs and fastballs that are dead-red across the plate. It's when I live in love that I am walking arm-in-arm with my Lord and nothing can hurt me, nothing can beat me because he is living through me.

God, be patient as I try to walk in your ways and to love those who don't love me, those who aren't loved by the world, those who seemingly try to be unlovable and those who need to experience your love so they will have hope.

Grace and peace to you.

Pitching and Conviction

2011-08-02T06:22:00.000-05:00

Koji and Adams. The Rangers certainly got busy and pulled off a couple of big trades at the deadline. It will be a few years to see how good the trade was as we watch the other guy develop, or fail to develop, but I liked what I saw out of Koji yesterday and everyone is saying Adams is the "it" guy from the NL. We'll see. Go Rangers.

Yesterday's sermon from Romans 12 was convicting. Rick did what good preachers do by reminding me that there is something missing in my prayer life that I'm commanded to do but don't really care to do - pray for those who are persecuting me. Now, I'm fortunate that no one is beating me or imprisoning me for my beliefs but sometimes the mental wounds feel as deep and as painful as what I imagine the physical wounds to be. From terrorists who threaten our safety and security to people who want to argue with us about our beliefs and actions to those who would try to gain ground and build stature around our mistakes to those who are simply abusive, everyone I know faces some level of persecution and I, for one, have certainly failed at praying for anyone and everyone who I believe is persecuting or hurting me in some way. I'm thankful I got an earful of reminder yesterday that the power of God can do amazing things if I will tap into it.

The more I read Romans, the more I want to read it again and again.

Grace and peace to you.

Busted By An Aggie

2011-08-01T02:43:00.000-05:00

I've got a friend, well, I know this guy, who is an Aggie and he sends me a text on Friday about my math abilities and the sad part is, he was right. Now, if you've even had something pointed out that you did that was wrong, you know how it can make you feel. Imagine that same thing pointed out by an Aggie. OUCH!

Hook 'em Horns is all I've got to say about that.

I had a deep philosophical/theological post I was planning for today but the busted by an Aggie thing has reduced me to wishing the NFL season would have been locked out and I wouldn't have to keep seeing Jerry on the TV screen while watching ESPN.

I'm writing this on Friday and wondering what the Rangers are going to pull off this weekend. Heath Bell to Texas? Someone else? No one coming to Texas? I wouldn't mind seeing Robbie Erlin and Tanner Scheppers and Chris Davis somewhere else if it gets the Rangers back in the World Series. They are good, promising players but I don't think any of them will get a good shot in Arlington and they deserve a good shot based on what little I know about them.

If you've read this blog, you know I'm a fan of Charity:Water. Follow this link and read a very touching story about a young girl, a tragedy and what good might come from it. Rachel's Story

I got to spend time with my buddies from Lifebread (www.lifebread.org) on Saturday. I love people doing missions with a purpose greater than building a church building and hitting the road. Dusty and his crew are doing good work and following the "teach a man to fish" principle...but with bread.

That's all.

Grace and peace to you.

168

2011-07-29T03:45:00.001-05:00

Several conversations I have been a part of, along with a sermon and a class, have raised the question of "what is worship?"

I grew up in a time when our churches battled over the style of worship and some wanted to condemn "musical instrument" churches to the damning fire while I was always thinking we were more worried about singing our parts than living what we were singing (and I was very guilty of not living what I was singing/saying/whatever). "When we all get to heaven (as long as you ain't using a piano to sing this song)..." Maybe it should have been "When some of us who think we've got it all figured out get to heaven..."

All that to say, the number 168 stood out to me this week. I have 168 hours in our week. Let's say I use 56 of them getting 8 hours sleep a night and another 21 eating 3 times a day for an hour each meal (yes, both are a stretch) then I have 91 hours left. What am I doing with that 91 hours? Working? Yes. Attending events or spending time with my kids? Yes Visiting friends, shopping, watching TV? Yes.

I remember when I used to gripe about someone turning the lights down during the communion service because I didn't like it. I had the time to gripe but I look back and try to think of anything I did to serve God in the way Jesus exemplified and I come up empty. I was like the Pharisees, trying to polish the outside of the dish while the inside was filthy.

The last few years have brought some inside cleaning. There's more to do for sure but I can tell you that lots of gunk and muck have been cleaned off and thrown away. Turn the lights down? I don't care as long as I'm using my 141 hours a week to find ways to serve. Sing new songs or old songs? I'm much more concerned with how I'm spending my 141 hours a week to find ways to serve those in my life the way Jesus did. And for my friends who go to church where there's a band or anything else that my fellowship might not agree with, I'll consider the fruit of what you are doing in 141 hours a week long before I'll want to talk to you about the band, the lights, the women or whatever else it is that I have seen my brethren worked up about in the past.

Jesus came to seek and save the lost, not establish the format for church service. Why would I want to do anything different?

I've got 91 hours coming next week to reach out, to help, to clothe, to feed, to give water, to provide shelter, to teach. I wonder what I will do with my time?

Retry

2011-07-27T08:17:00.001-05:00

After 4 edits of today's original post, I give up and will borrow a link from Josh Graves.

This is a preacher who loves him some NASCAR.

Love me some NASCAR

I'm not going to go into how Jesus taught us to pray and make any comparisons (as if) or contrasts.

Here's a link to my good friend's blog if you want to read more on prayer and how Jesus' idea may be a little different than Pastor Nelms

Thoughts on Prayer

I'm not condemning Pastor Nelms or suggesting Rick knows all there is to know about prayer. I mean, can you really hate a guy who prays for his smoking hot wife? Just trying to be fair and balanced today.

Grace and peace to you.

Running on Empty

2011-07-25T08:53:00.000-05:00

It's been tough to blog lately...as you've probably noticed.

Same sex marriages in New York. A murder spree in Norway. Oh yes, now I remember why I have quit reading the paper and watching the news. Burying my head in the sand, you say? In all honesty, I think I have been more focused on my Father's business since I went without "news" for awhile. Sadly enough, I can find enough problems in my own yard without hearing from around the world. I'm not advocating for all people to quit listening to the news, I just feel like it has been a good thing for me for a season.

I'm taking an Organizational Behavior class for a Master's program right now. One assignment was a Life Stress Inventory Test. A score of 0-100 indicates you have low stress, 100-200 indicates reasonable stress that a person should be aware of and taking steps to reduce, 200-300 indicates high stress that can result in a 50% chance of a major health issue within 2 years, 300 and up indicates extremely high stress that can result in a 80% chance of a major health issue within 2 years. I scored a 485 the first time so I took it again and got a 520. Maybe that's why I feel exhausted all the time. Silly tests.

I also took the Myers-Brigg Personality Inventory and found out I'm a INFJ. I still don't know all that means but my personality is the same as Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela - not bad company. It's also the same as Billy Crystal and Mel Gibson (that may explain some of my outbursts at times). Fascinating stuff.

I got into another faith and works conversation the other day. I'm still confused why anyone would try to separate the two. I do stuff for my kids because of love. God gave his son for me because of love. Love is unseen (faith) until manifested in something I do for someone but what I do isn't done for proof, it's done out of love. So is my work for God, not something I do for proof but something I do because of love. It seems so simple to me.

Then again, I may be a little simple-minded. That's why I'm looking forward to being at the Rangers game tonight.

Grace and peace to you.

Perseverance

2011-07-21T05:39:00.000-05:00

How long does perseverance last?

On vacation, I reread James. It's become a favorite book because it addresses some areas that are key to living the life I want to live to know God better - persevering, controlling anger, confession and prayer.

I love what James 1 has to say about persevering through trials but I wish it explained how long perseverance lasts. I'd like to know I'm getting to the end of trials and closer to the crown.

I know it's wishful thinking. I know trials will never end and some are on a loop it seems. I know my timing and God's timing vary slightly and I know His timing is the one I want to be aligned with (I've seen what doing things my way looks like - YIKES). I'll keep praying for strength and courage and wisdom to persevere and to take joy in knowing and seeing how my trust in God to get me through the rough times always looks and feels much better than what I would do on my own accord. And, I want to revel in the hope that comes from persevering in faith.

Grace and peace to you.

Back In The Saddle

2011-07-19T01:07:00.002-05:00

I had to hit the ground running yesterday after 7 days out of the office enjoying the beautiful scenery and cool temperatures of Colorado. It was a good vacation but one that ended way to soon. My son and I both thought we had some days stolen out of our week. I caught some good fish, took the Jeep high into the mountains and felt some really cool temperatures and had great conversations with regulars at Fun Valley and with some Decaturites who showed up out of the blue.

One of the things I read on vacation was John Grisham's recent book, The Confession. If you are a fan of the death penalty, I encourage you to read this one. Just to be fair, I'm an ardent opponent to the death penalty, believe anyone who uses the Bible to defend murdering anyone is in direct contradiction to God and think anyone who calls themselves a follower of Christ and death penalty advocate should be required to give the injection that brings death. I hope I was clear on my belief. Anyway, this book tells a great story of why and how one mistake is one too many and is written with Grisham's regular, captivating flair.

More thoughts on reading in the coming days...

Grace and peace to you.

Rocky Mountain High

2011-07-08T02:40:00.001-05:00

I love the Rocky Mountains. I always feel closer to God when I'm in the mountains and it's not just the altitude but the beauty of his creation that comes to life for me. There's nothing I like more than standing in a river and taking in the creation around me. The week I spend here is my sabbath rest, certainly not how God may have intended it but it is the one time each year where I shut down and let the cares of the world float away.

I am looking forward to a week of rest and a week of getting closer to God. Open my heart, Lord.

Grace and peace to you.

EDIT: I had written the above post before leaving. While traveling on Thursday and listening to the Rangers game, I was aware of the fan falling over the railing when it happened. I was saddened to learn later the man had passed away. He was attending the game with his young son according to reports. I cannot imagine the effect this might have on Josh Hamilton who had tossed the ball to the man that he reached out for and fell. I read a report where Oakland pitcher Brad Ziegler was in tears after the game after watching the incident from the visitors bullpen.

I cherish the moments I have with my children and this incident is a reminder that those can be gone in the blink of an eye. I will enjoy this week with my son and cannot wait until I can hug my beautiful daughter next Saturday.

Travel Day

2011-07-07T06:12:00.001-05:00

Travel day is always a day of anticipation for me. It's a day where I'm excited to get where I'm going, excited to think about what might occur or what I'm planning to do. It's a day of adventure in knowing that I'm going somewhere with some idea of what it's going to be like when I get there but not fully knowing all the variables that might affect the trip along the way.

My walk with God is like that. Everyday is a travel day - one where I know where I'm headed when I leave the house but don't know what all will come along during the day, what opportunities God will present to me, what temptations will try to pull me down, wondering if it is a day where I will help someone or someone will help me get closer to God.

I know I'm headed to South Fork, Colorado today and I have plans but I don't know what will come along during the journey. I will pray my daily prayer for God to open my eyes to see what he sees, to open my hears to hear what he hears, to open my mouth to speak his words and to open my heart to be like his heart.

Mid-70 degree weather won't hurt anything either!

Grace and peace to you.

Blogging Blah's

2011-07-06T03:28:00.000-05:00

First, I want to again thank my readers who helped support Camp Coldwater. They reached their goal and will get the GPS coordinates in 12-18 months on where the well sits. I'll try to remember to post that when it comes in. If you weren't able to support Camp Coldwater, I hope you will consider supporting Charity:Water at some time in the future. It's a good cause doing good things for the people Jesus told us to reach.

I've got the blogging blah's. I'm not feeling very cohesive in my thoughts of late, busy with travel, with school, with some cool stuff that God has led me to in a nearby city, with managing kid time and personal time, guest blogging for a friend's site and something else...oh yeah, work.

Last week I was in Searcy, Arkansas at Harding University as a sponsor for our youth group and a teacher and it was an incredible and uplifting experience. They brought in some great speakers each night and kept the kids busy and active in both learning and burning energy. I taught 3 classes on Tuesday and 3 classes on Wednesday and had a blast doing it. I love talking to young people who are getting ready to embark on so many new adventures of life. It's an honor and a challenge to try and share some life lessons in a way that meets them where they are. I know I am ineffective on my own and pray always that God speaks through me so they will hear his message for their lives and not mine.

I leave for Colorado on Thursday and will reach my destination on Friday where the high temperature is predicted to be 77. Sweet! I can't wait to be there, relaxing, fishing and spending some time with my son. It's a little bittersweet in that my daughter is still in Arkansas attending a two-week college program and won't be with us but I know it's a great opportunity for her and I'm glad she's able to do that too. I still miss her though.

Here's the lesson that has stuck with me from last week through my own preparation. I cannot let God down because I never held him up. He holds me up in his victorious hand. It's a lesson I'm still learning, slowly but surely. I love God.

Grace and peace to you.

A Final Plea

2011-06-30T02:14:00.000-05:00

TODAY is the last day of Camp Coldwater's effort to raise $5,000 to drill a well. I know I have a lot of people who can read this blog and I'm asking you to help. I won't do it often. I don't expect it. But, I am hopeful. We need $995 as of 2:15 pm on Wednesday.

I have been at Uplift since Saturday with our church youth group and taught classes Tuesday and Wednesday to 150 or so kids both days. We are driving back today and I can't wait to sleep in my bed again. It's not that I mind a twin bed, I've just had enough of it!

What an incredible experience with incredible young people. I'm encouraged about what the future will hold with these kids I get to be around. Some may talk about their tattoos and piercings and crazy hair-do's and whatever else but when you are around them long enough to peer into what God is looking at, their hearts, I believe you will find hope.

Grace and peace to you.

On The Road Again

2011-06-27T05:42:00.003-05:00

THANK YOU to the folks who are helping Camp Coldwater sponsor a water well for people who are suffering in this world without clean water. I hope the Lord covers you in his blessings for helping those who are not in a position to help themselves. Know that Jesus is speaking to you in Matthew 25:40 because of your selflessness. If you haven't helped, there are just a few days remaining. Please support this great cause at mycharitywater.org/campcoldwater.

In Christ Alone may be the most powerful song I have ever listened to. I have yet to hear it or sing it that I don't have to pause to wipe tears of joy from my eyes. (Yes, I'm an emotional kind of guy. What about it?) I hope you will be reminded of the power of Jesus Christ as you listen.

Grace and peace to you.

God's Provision

2011-06-24T04:23:00.002-05:00

We will return to our regular programming, God's Provision, in just a moment. First, please listen to this announcement from our sponsor, Camp Coldwater. "Bad water = bad health, even death. Please help. Donate to Charity:Water through the Camp Coldwater link to the right and help give the gift of health and help save lives. Thank you."

One of the chapters in my book (it's still in my head) comparing my walk with that of the Israelites is my take on God's provision. He gives me everything I need. When I need it. Pretty simple, huh? Of course, I want what he gives me plus a few other things and when he gives me some of those things I want a few more things. Pretty goofy, huh?

A year ago at this time, I was going through some of the darkest days of my life. I was questioning God and not sure I really trusted him. My prayers had not been answered and my fears had become reality. I felt alone and empty and felt like all the bad stuff I had done had finally caused God to give up on me.

I was wrong, of course. What I have learned is that God went to the shed to get his hammer and chisel knowing I was ready for some work to be done on me. That might not make sense until you watch this video: God's Chisel by the Skit Guys (see more of their great work at www.skitguys.com).

It's a year later and a time that could be filled with sadness but God has provided again. I'm traveling to Searcy, Arkansas with our church youth group for Uplift and will be presenting lessons on two days about faith and salvation. It hit me a day or two ago that God has taken a time I could choose to run a myriad of negative emotions and fill those days with thoughts and ideas about faith and salvation.

Tell me he isn't giving me my daily bread.

I look forward to posting some things from Uplift in the coming weeks but in my absence next week, I plan to have links to several songs that spoke to me in dark days and helped me lift up my eyes to see Jesus at work and helped me open my heart to what God has in store for me. I hope they may speak to someone else as loudly and forcefully as God spoke to me through them.

I believe that God is sovereign and he does and will always provide all that I need. All I need to do is be still and be content in his provision.

Grace and peace to you.

I'm Talking To You

2011-06-20T05:14:00.000-05:00

Usually my blog is written to myself. Things I'm thinking that I need to "think" out loud so I can see it and chew on it. Today, it's written to you.

See the picture to the right? The baby bottle filled with dirty water? Kids are dying because of filthy water and you have the opportunity to do something about it. I've got the link to Camp Coldwater's Charity:Water page where you can give money to help children (and adults) get clean drinking water. What's stopping you from donating? Today?

I'm averaging over 30 page views a day. If those 30 people donated $10 the goal would almost be met. So here's the deal. If you read this and haven't donated yet (I think 2 of my regular readers have prompted a donation), go to mycharitywater.org/campcoldwater today and give $10 or more and I'll cover the remaining balance to reach the $5,000 goal. I know who some of you are so don't disappoint me. When you donate, put "wayoutwise" in the comments so I'll know my peeps aren't cheapskates.

You can prevent someone from dying from germs/disease/infection that comes from dirty water.

Grace and peace to you.

The Fine Line

2011-06-17T06:46:00.000-05:00

It seems so often in life there is a fine line between so many things. I've often tried to find the line and see how close I could get to it before crossing and there have been many times I've blatantly stepped across it without much concern for where my path was headed. Maybe the things I think are co-existing on a fine line really have a chasm separating them and I just can't see it...but it's the way I see it at the moment.

Yesterday, I was reminded that there is a fine line between using the word of God to build up and strengthen and using the word of God to be the judge of another person's heart and actions. I was handed a Bible and asked to read a scripture by someone who doesn't know me or my heart or my burning desire to know God better. I was handed the Bible and asked to read the scripture because this man thought it would convict me of something he thinks I'm very wrong about and that he wanted to call me out, in his own way, to come around to his way of thinking. Now, I'm completely open that he may be right and I may be wrong in the sense that it is something I will pray about and ask for God's direction, but today I don't feel I am crossing any lines with God. I'm also open to the fact that he is convicted by what he believes and in that sense I appreciate he would share his concern for me. On the other hand, I do not appreciate how it was done or the fact that he doesn't appear to want to know anything about me and my thoughts on the matter.

The most telling part of the morning to me was this - as soon as I knew he was there, I knew he would confront me and I immediately prayed that God would simply hold my tongue and I would remain silent. I didn't want to get in a verbal battle and I didn't want to go into collision mode (meaning I would collide with him like a jet propelled madman as I'm apt to do at times), I just wanted to be silent and let God work in that moment, whether on him or on me. I had the strength of restraint that came from something greater than me and in that moment I was confident I was turning my heart and mind over to God.

I know the day will come when this man will approach me again to share his views and I believe I will be fully prepared to answer him with what I am convicted God is revealing to me and in that space, I'll pray that God speaks to us both to know him better, to hear his desire for our lives and to live in either agreement or disagreement with the knowledge that each of us will seek God to furthest reaches of our being.

Grace and peace to you.

The Story of the Loving Father

2011-06-16T03:07:00.000-05:00

If you know me, you know I love the story of the loving father (often called the story of the prodigal son) because I believe it's my story. Jon Acuff wrote a great blog about this story and I want to send you to his thoughts today. I think it's a story that can never be read enough.

Jon Acuff's Blog - The Prodigal Story

Grace and peace to you.

Sports Wrap-up

2011-06-13T00:09:00.003-05:00

The Mavs win! The Mavs win!

You can thank me later. I picked the opposing team in every series and the reverse psychology worked. Dirk has made me a believer and I'm happy for several of the Mavs who get the rings. I still think picking up Tyson Chandler was the best move the Mavs have made in awhile. JJ Berea is my favorite NBA little man. JJ is lights out. I don't know how he gets it done but he does. Rick Carlisle deserves some apologies but I doubt he wants them. He did some good coaching this year.

LeBron is 0-2 in championship series. I wish he could have won in Cleveland. I'll keep hoping they don't get close in Miami.

Read this article. Yes, it's about the Angels but it's good stuff.

Langdon Story

I'm headed east today for a funeral. I'm sure it will be sad but I trust it will also be a celebration for a life well-lived and for addition to the ranks in heaven. Join me in a prayer of peace and comfort for the Knight family today.

Why the Rangers Are Cool

2011-06-10T04:43:00.002-05:00

It's Friday so how about nothing too heavy today? Works for me.

I subscribe to the Newberg Report which is a daily email update on the Rangers. I got this email earlier this week about the Rangers 2nd pick in the 1st round, Zach Cone, and a college teammate of Cone's who was injured in a collision with Cone on the playing field.

Recall this note from yesterday’s Newberg Report:

[Supplemental first-round pick Zach] Cone hit .363/.403/.627 for the Bulldogs in 2010, leading to pre-season All-America recognition and prompting BA’s Jim Callis to write a year ago that he profiled as a first-round pick this season and that he “[m]ight be the best athlete in the 2011 college crop.” But he collided with fellow Bulldogs outfielder Jonathan Taylor as they converged on a looping line drive in March, leaving Taylor (who weighed 20 pounds less than the 200-lb. Cone) partially paralyzed with a neck injury after his head struck Cone’s hip. He may not walk again.

Texas just drafted Taylor in the 33^rd round (h/t Jason Cole of Lone Star Dugout).

I find this very, very, very cool.

Jamey

This is a good reason why I'm a Rangers fan; win, lose or draw. I know it doesn't mean the Rangers organization has the heart of Jesus...or maybe it does. Either way, it sounds like good people doing good stuff. I can't imagine being paralyzed and what that does to someone emotionally. I can't imagine being the guy who ran into the guy who is now paralyzed. I wonder if it slows him down on the field when he knows another player is chasing a ball. I'm guessing there could be a strong bond between those two players now and maybe both getting drafted by the Rangers helps both of them heal and look forward to what can be.

Go here for more on the story from the Rangers website: Rangers Draft Taylor

I think about my funeral a lot, probably too much, but it's mine so I can think about it all I want. I've always hoped the things that were said about me had more to do with me loving God and doing his will than loving the Rangers or Longhorns or baseball or something of this world. That said, I might not mind being mentioned as a Rangers fan after reading about their 33rd round draft choice.

I went to a memorial service for Jimmie Armes on Wednesday. I didn't know Jimmie as well as I would have liked to but knew him well enough to know he was a good man, a sincere and compassionate man and based on what was said at his memorial service, a man who wanted to know God better every day of his life. I'll miss seeing Jimmie, even as infrequently as I did, but he's someone who left a story of doing good and loving people for me and I will always appreciate him for that. His wife, Marye Nella, is cut of the same cloth, a good woman with a loving heart and I am thankful to know her. I hope she will find peace and comfort through the Lord with the loss of Jimmie.

Grace and peace to you.

Don't Be a Wiener

2011-06-09T02:24:00.004-05:00

Anthony Wiener is the new poster boy for sexting and the question of how much/far is too much/far. He followed all the typical paths; denial, blame, shifting responsibility and, finally, admitting what really happened. I've walked some of that road he's on (no, not the sexting part) of finding a million reasons and excuses for doing something wrong and then wanting to take the position that it's not my fault. I think Mr. Wiener will find that owning up to his wrongdoing and, I hope for him, making significant changes in his life will lead him to a better road.

I met with one of my counselors Tuesday. It's been awhile since I've seen Jerry, a good, Godly man who has helped me get off the road of denial and blame and shifting responsibility and has helped me get on the path that God wants me to walk. Oh, I've ventured off of it but I'm better equipped than ever to get back on God's path for me and to seek him more than seeking my own pleasure. I went back to see him because I don't celebrate victories as well as I suffer defeats and I wanted to celebrate with him and share in what God has done through him in my life and to talk about areas where there are still some cracks that need to be fixed...because I want more victory celebrations.

I hope Mr. Wiener will learn what I'm learning. With God, you're either all-in or you're walking the other way. There's no "I sent lewd pictures but I didn't have a physical relationship with them" with God. My heart is either set on the things of God or they are set on the things of Jeff. I still have moments where I hurt for not learning that lesson years ago but all I have is today. Will I live it for God or live it for Jeff?

I want to live it for God. I am not my own. I was bought at a price. This day, I want to honor God with my body, with my actions, with my words, with my thoughts, with every fiber of my being.

Grace and peace to you.

Happy, Happy, Happy

2011-06-08T06:26:00.001-05:00

I'm borrowing from John Eldredge again. I get emails from him and he often speaks to things that are on my mind and on my heart. This is one of those emails.

I have people tell me from time to time, "you deserve to be happy" and it's something that just doesn't sit well with me. For me, happiness is a fleeting thing. I'm happy one moment, not so happy the next. I'm happy and a problem pops, I'm happy and someone does something to me that hurts, one minute I'm happy and then I'm not so happy for a multitude of reasons. Happiness comes quickly and it goes quickly. Sometimes life is hard and it beats me down and if happiness is what I really seek, I'll be miserable.

As Good as It Gets?

If for all practical purposes we believe that this life is our best shot at happiness, if this is as good as it gets, we will live as desperate, demanding, and eventually despairing men and women. We will place on this world a burden it was never intended to bear. We will try to find a way to sneak back into the Garden and when that fails, as it always does, our heart fails as well. If truth be told, most of us live as though this life is our only hope.

In his wonderful book The Eclipse of Heaven, A. J. Conyers put it quite simply: "We live in a world no longer under heaven." All the crises of the human soul flow from there. All our addictions and depressions, the rage that simmers just beneath the surface of our Christian facade, and the deadness that characterizes so much of our lives has a common root: We think this is as good as it gets. Take away the hope of arrival and our journey becomes the Battan death march. The best human life is unspeakably sad. Even if we manage to escape some of the bigger tragedies (and few of us do), life rarely matches our expectations. When we do get a taste of what we really long for, it never lasts. Every vacation eventually comes to an end. Friends move away. Our careers don't quite pan out. Sadly, we feel guilty about our disappointment, as though we ought to be more grateful.

Of course we're disappointed-we're made for so much more. "He has also set eternity in the hearts" (Eccl. 3:11). Our longing for heaven whispers to us in our disappointments and screams through our agony. "If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy," C. S. Lewis wrote, "the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."

(The Sacred Romance , 179-80)

I know the people who tell me I deserve to be happy mean well and I don't set out to give them my outlook on things (because they'd likely think I'm loonier than they already do) and I appreciate their concern for me. That said, I've also got some other friends who share their hopes for me in this way: Seek God. Seek his favor. Seek the peace that comes only from Him. Seek joy from knowing Jesus' love. Seek comfort from being a child of God. Seek God. Nothing more, nothing less. I know today, more than ever, that seeking God and his ways for my life will lead me to something greater, more fulfilling, than happiness ever could.

Grace and peace to you.

BUSTED!

2011-06-07T05:51:00.004-05:00

I got busted Sunday night. Not the handcuffed, off-to-jail busted (at least not this time!) but the "why did you say that" kind of busted that reminds me so well that the moment I start thinking I'm doing so good, I go and do something I wish I didn't. Now, the error of my ways was a bit of gossip I dropped into a conversation that 1) isn't something I really even care about and 2) was totally useless and inappropriate. I had heard a 3rd or 4th hand story about someone famous a few days ago, the famous person came up in a conversation Sunday night, I spoke as if I was an authority on the subject and later, that friend asked why I said it if I really didn't know.

Good question. It's why gossip is a bad thing. It's why I detest those magazines hanging on the racks at Wal-Mart ready to give us all the dirt on someone. And, the crazy thing is, I look at that stuff and think I'm above it.

The simple little reminder here is that I need to check what I say before I say it. There's a reason James talks about the damage that can be done with the tongue. There's a reason Paul tells the Corinthians that they are not their own, they were bought at a price and to honor God with their bodies (including their mouth).

A few years ago, that gentle reprimand might have brought forth some anger from inside me. Sunday night, I was thankful for the reminder that I need to always be alert to the things I can say and do that do not honor God because that is what I want to be doing, honoring and glorifying him in all my ways.

Grace and peace to you.

Dream Sharing

2011-06-06T04:56:00.000-05:00

It's scary sharing your dreams. What if people laugh at you? What if people talk about you behind your back? What if people think you are crazy? What if you are crazy? Or...

What if they want to share in the dream, crazy or not?
Wednesday, I taught my last lesson out of Crazy Love at our workplace Bible study and my good friend Bart shared his dream of helping these guys we've met over in Denton. As he shared, the interest level in what he discussed was evident and when he was done, everyone was offering to help in some way.

Sometimes our dreams seem wacky to the ways of the world but perfectly legitimate to people who want to be disciples of Christ. Sometimes we are crazy for dreaming our dreams based on what the world/flesh tells us we should want or want to do but they seem so normal to God.

Normal to God. Now that's a subject that I need to explore sometime.

Anyway, one of the favorite lines I ever heard Matt Chandler say in one of his sermon's was "how long do we have to study the playbook before we start running the plays?" I know Bart's dream today is going to be reality soon...no longer a dream to think about but an action that is happening, that is revealing God to guys who are waiting to be loved, that is meeting physical, emotional and spiritual needs and hopefully, setting up some guys to find success in managing their physical life and success is growing in their spiritual walk.

Grace and peace to you.

The Lies We Are Told

2011-06-03T06:01:00.000-05:00

I'm borrowing from John Eldredge again today. He talks about a lie I have fallen for and still fall for from time to time but as I learn more and more about God's love for me, the lie is rapidly losing it's power over me.

Subtle Attack?Looking for Agreements

The devil has more temptations than an actor has costumes for the stage. And one of his all-time favorite disguises is that of a lying spirit, to abuse your tender heart with the worst news he can deliver-that you do not really love Jesus Christ and that you are only pretending, you are only deceiving yourself. (William Gurnall)

Satan is called in Scripture the Father of Lies (John 8:44). His very first attack against the human race was to lie to Eve and Adam about God, and where life is to be found, and what the consequences of certain actions would and would not be. He is a master at this. He suggests to us-as he suggested to Adam and Eve-some sort of idea or inclination or impression, and what he is seeking is a sort of "agreement" on our part. He's hoping we'll buy into whatever he's saying, offering, insinuating. Our first parents bought into it, and look what disaster came of it. The Evil One is still lying to us, seeking our agreement every single day.

Your heart is good. Your heart matters to God. Those are the two hardest things to hang on to. I'm serious-try it. Try to hold this up for even a day. My heart is good. My heart matters to God. You will be amazed at how much accusation you live under. You have an argument with your daughter on the way to school; as you drive off, you have a nagging sense of, Well, you really blew that one. If your heart agrees-Yeah, I really did-without taking the issue to Jesus, then the Enemy will try to go for more. You're always blowing it with her. Another agreement is made. It's true. I'm such a lousy parent. Keep this up and your whole day is tanked in about five minutes. The Enemy will take any small victory he can get. It moves from You did a bad thing to You are bad. After a while it just becomes a cloud we live under, accept as normal.

(Waking the Dead , 152-53)

Lord, I thank you that your love has more power than anything else I will ever know.

Grace and peace to you.

Turn It Around LoMo

2011-06-01T04:47:00.008-05:00

"If you don't want to follow me, don't follow me," he says with a shrug.

That's Logan Morrison's response to questions about his use of bad language, sexual jokes and innuendo and other comments he makes on his Twitter account. He's a Florida Marlins baseball player who estimates his audience ranges from 15 years old and up.

I wonder what would happen if he used his Twitter account to say positive, wholesome statements. He'd probably lose many of his 26,000 followers I suppose...or maybe he would gain more. Either way, he takes a selfish approach to the social media opportunity. I'll be one who doesn't follow him.
___________________________________________

Here's something good to follow. Go to mycharitywater.org/campcoldwater and donate. This is part of a project the youth group at our church in Decatur is doing this summer and they are wanting to raise $5,000 to help drill a water well somewhere in the world that doesn't have clean drinking water.

Grace and peace to you.

Can You Spare Some Change?

2011-05-31T06:02:00.000-05:00

Mahatma Ghandi is quoted as saying, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

I think about all the things I've seen or heard about that I wish wasn't going on in the world and my best idea to date has been to quit watching the news. I have to admit I'm happier not keeping up with all the news, at least not the way it is typically reported, but my ability to ignore it isn't making it go away.

I'm thankful for great friends who have pushed me to do more, to get comfortable by going through some discomfort, to actually do things that look a little bit like what Jesus did.

I hope my remaining days will find me being the change I want to see in the world. Change that helps the poor. Change that feeds the hungry. Change that clothes the naked. Change that gives shelter to the homeless. Most of all, change that gives light to the lost, hope to the hopeless, compassion to the hurting, healing to the wounded and love to the lost, hopeless, hurting, wounded and lonely souls who need to know Jesus' love for them, who need to know there is love, mercy and grace in abundance that he wants to lavish on them.

For anyone reading this, I would ask your prayers for some people headed to Ecuador later this week to be the change they want to see in the world that their efforts help people spiritually and physically and that they will grow in their effort to show others a glimpse of what Jesus looks like.

Grace and peace to you.

Going "Home"

2011-05-30T03:14:00.000-05:00

I took Wendell and Preston home from church yesterday. We had a good visit on the way with Wendell doing most of the talking and Preston cracking a few jokes at Wendell's expense along the way. I heard about how good Preston had slept the night before and their fascination that the hotel they were in had a phone in the bathroom. They couldn't figure that one out. When we pulled up, they unloaded their stuff and got to take a brisket, beans, potato salad, cookies and cupcakes with them. Not a bad haul!

The hard part of the whole thing was dropping them off because they are staying under a large tree that provides a good bit of shade with the Texas heat in the 90's to 100 degrees. They've been run off a few times because it's close to an office building and they don't hang out there much during the week. Preston wouldn't let me pull up in the parking lot close to the tree because he didn't want anyone to notice them getting out there if possible. I left them there with some food, a little money and the knowledge that I was headed back to a comfortable place to live, air conditioning, a job that provides all I need and a reminder that I am blessed and that God is hoping I'll share some of what he has provided for me.

Oh Lord, let Wendell and Preston and Mike be forever present in my mind so that when I start wanting this or that, I'll remember my friends who live under a tree with the clothes on their back and their appreciation for their bikes and their backpacks. I pray you'll be with them and let them know you are with them always, that you love them completely and that this world and it's sufferings are only temporary. Open my eyes to see what you want me to see so I may serve how you want me to serve.

Grace and peace to you.

Wounds

2011-05-27T10:36:00.000-05:00

Borrowing from John Eldredge today...

Friday, May 27, 2011

Honor Wounds

You will be wounded. Just because this battle is spiritual doesn't mean it's not real; it is, and the wounds a man can take are in some ways more ugly than those that come in a firefight. To lose a leg is nothing compared to losing heart; to be crippled by shrapnel need not destroy your soul, but to be crippled by shame and guilt may. You will be wounded by the Enemy. He knows the wounds of your past, and he will try to wound you again in the same place. But these wounds are different; these are honor-wounds.

Blaine was showing me his scars the other night at the dinner table. "This one is where Samuel threw a rock and hit me in the forehead. And this one is from the Tetons when I fell into that sharp log. I can't remember what this one was from; oh, here's a good one-this one is from when I fell into the pond while chasing Luke. This one is a really old one when I burned my leg on the stove camping." He's proud of his scars; they are badges of honor to a boy . . . and to a man. We have no equivalent now for a Purple Heart of spiritual warfare, but we will. One of the noblest moments that await us will come at the wedding feast of the Lamb. Our Lord will rise and begin to call those forward who were wounded in battle for his name's sake and they will be honored, their courage rewarded. I think of Henry V's line to his men,

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian . . .
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say, "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day; then shall our names . . .
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.

(Wild at Heart ,176-77)

Grace and peace to you.

That There Is Rotation

2011-05-25T00:57:00.000-05:00

I went to the Rangers game last night with my son to meet my dad and mom and to celebrate his 79th birthday. It was all good until the 4th inning when the clouds above us started to swirl which was fun to watch while ominous all at the same time. Now, I'm a storm watcher so I thought it was pretty cool but people around us were getting a little antsy. Once they covered the field and some rain drops fell, my parents decided the best course of action was to head back to East Texas while I thought the best course of action was to watch the tarp blow on the field since the storms were coming from the west and I didn't want to drive into them. Well, the rain really started to fall which drove us to the concourse and then someone decided it was best to send us all down to the tunnel. Maybe it was the sirens going off and all the texts we were getting saying tornadoes were headed for us. So, my son, me and 25,000 of my good friends hung out outside the Rangers clubhouse doors, cheered for a few players who walked through, while sweating it out. Finally, they sent us out so the game could restart only to find out there would be a second rain delay which was my exit cue.

So, a good night with my dad, a good night watching storms, a good night hanging out below the ballpark and a good night being with my favorite son.

It's now 1:00 in the morning and I need to go to sleep but also need to prepare 2 Bible lessons to be delivered later today. This is one of those times where praying that God will give me the words to say takes on a whole new level of meaning!

Grace and peace to you.